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27 December 2006 @ 08:24 pm
Seattle Grace Hospital  
Addison had left the trailer, a heavy feeling hovering over her. She knew the moment she and Derek shared in the trailer wouldn't be their last happy moment together. There were going to be lots of moments in which they would go out and find their love for one another again. The only problem was they would have to make time to work things out, to talk about the past, about Mark and Meredith, about why they fell apart.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they just know and move on? Why did they have to bring out the pain and everything that's happened? Addison knew it was something they needed to do. She knew very well without talking about those things, their marriage would fall apart again. She just wished they could fast forward through all of that and just be happy, just be Addison and Derek.

Of course, life never worked that way and they would have to battle it out, hoping and keeping faith that they would come out of it alive and stronger than ever.

She'd gotten Finn's first text message on her way to the hospital but decided against texting him back until she got to the hospital; however, by then he'd already withdrawn his first request and told her to take a rain check. Noting that she really needed to talk to him, Addison made a mental note to contact him later. The night before had been complicated and she was sure she'd led him on. Now things were different and she was going to work things out with Derek so she needed to tell him. He was a good friend and she was sure that she would need his shoulder to lean on when things got tough with Derek so she needed to be absolutely honest with him.

Her day had gone on with very little difficulty. Everything was the same as always. Patients, babies, mothers; just the same thing she dealt with on a day to day basis. Her mind however drifted to Derek quite often. They always had, but this had gotten to a point where she almost couldn't keep her mind off of it. Her mind was on Derek when she walked down the halls. It was on Derek when she wrote notes in a chart. The only time she could tear her mind away from Derek was when she was actually in surgery. She was a surgeon and her patients deserved the best. She would not let her personal life jeopardize a patient's life.

Now Addison was staring blankly down at a chart at the nurses' station, pen in hand but unmoving. All she could think about was Derek, wondering when she'd be able to see him again, when they could have a moment like they'd had that morning. She missed the sheer bliss and playfulness they'd always shared in the beginning of their relationship. The morning let her get a glimpse of that again and all she wanted was for every moment to be just like that; Addison and Derek, the way they were supposed to be. It was just a dream, but it was dream she was going to hold on to.
 
 
 
xaddis0nx on December 31st, 2006 06:26 am (UTC)
To say Addison was surprised would have been the biggest understatement of the century. She was so shocked that she even forgot to close her eyes as Derek's lips pressed against hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth. Addison stood frozed for a moment, staring at him as their lips remained locked before she finally got a hold on what was happening and she began to kiss him back.

This was the exact opposite of what she'd expected from Derek. She had expected that Derek would throw her out, tell her that he never wanted to see her again. None of her previous thoughts had led her to believe that this could happen.

Derek was kissing her, even after everything that she had just told him. He wanted no one to ever kiss her or do anything else to her again. He still wanted her. There was no way to describe the incredible relief the swept over her body. She couldn't be happier in this moment than she was right now. There was more pain to come. She knew that. But right now, for everything that was said and done, this was perfect.

Addison relaxed into his touch and closed her eyes, kissing him back and enjoying the feeling their lips brushing against one another. She brought the hand free from his grasp to the back of his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. After several moments, she finally pulled back, her lips swollen, and rested her head against his as she tried to catch her breath.

"No one ever will again," she whispered breathily, looking straight into his piercing blue eyes.

If they ever make it out of this, which it looked like they might, Addison would never give herself away again. She knew that she could only love Derek Shepherd, the only man her heart, body, and soul was for. Betraying him had been the most difficult thing to do, the most difficult thing to overcome. He was still willing to try and make this work and that was really all that they needed.
dr_shep on December 31st, 2006 08:05 am (UTC)
Derek enjoyed that he had taken her by surprise. She had allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth unobstructed and not even had sense enough to kiss back for moments. It proved to him that kissing her had been the right thing to do. It was the only way he could communicate what he wanted, and it worked so much better than words.

When she finally did react to the kiss, it was amazing. He wanted it it to be the most memorable kiss of their relationship. This was their reconnection. After this, no one would have claim to Addison. She would be his.

His lips curled into a smile as his eyes met hers when she finally pulled away. Their breaths were mingling in the air, and he couldn't stop his eyes from traveling down to her swollen lips. Being able to make her react like that always made Derek a little bit proud. He brought a hand up and brushed a lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"No one," He repeated, making sure she understood how much he actually meant it.

Slipping his hands into her hair so he had just a little more control over her, he brushed his lips against hers, "You're mine."
xaddis0nx on December 31st, 2006 08:51 am (UTC)
Addison's eyes teared up again as she saw the affection and love in his eyes. It was sad, but she couldn't remember the last time he'd looked at her like that; not this morning, not when they were eating dinner. She figured it must've been years since he actually saw her that way, since he saw her as the love of his life. Now her Derek was back again and there hadn't been a moment (with maybe the exception of their wedding day) where she'd been happier.

She massaged the back of his neck with her hand as she continued to stare into his eyes, a soft smile slowly growing across her face. "Yours," she said quietly as she leaned in closer and dropped her gaze towards his lips. "Forever."

Their lips met again, softly brushing against one another. Addison kissed him gently but she was a little reluctant. She wasn't sure about going further or how far they could actually go. Their marriage was far from being fixed completely. They'd only made one step, albeit a big step, it was just one. There were many more things they needed to face and she didn't know if they were ready to move onto something more physical.
dr_shep on December 31st, 2006 09:35 am (UTC)
Derek wanted nothing more than to continue kissing her. He wanted his hands to explore her body. He wanted to get lost in her, to make love to her. The last person to touch her like that had been Finn Dandridge (the thought of which made him terribly ill), and he knew that Mark Sloan had more claim lately to Addison's body than even Derek.

He wanted Addison tonight. He wanted to wash away their respective affairs and start new. He wanted her to truly be his, and he wanted to be hers. He wanted to hear Addison call his name as she reached his peak.

He just wanted to be husband and wife again.

But, as their lips met and his tongue dragged along her lower lip, he sensed reluctance from her. He didn't want to feel reluctance on her part. That wasn't the way this was supposed to be.

He pulled away slightly, dropping his hands to her waist and wrapping them around her. Of course he wouldn't force her into anything. He'd never been one to do things like that, but he wanted her. His body ached for her, and he knew that the vision of Mark with Addison would haunt him until he had the chance to make love to her. The prospect terrified him.

"Addie," He said softly, dropping his forehead to hers.
xaddis0nx on December 31st, 2006 10:03 am (UTC)
She let out a sigh as Derek pulled away from the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. The way his arms wrapped around her ways, the way he called her name, the way he was breathing; it all pointed to the one thing he wanted from her. Being married for that long, Addison knew exactly what Derek was hinting at.

Derek didn't seem to be uncertain of what he wanted in the slightest. Reading him, she knew he really wanted this and she really hadn't expected that he would want it this soon. Everything was taking a turn she never guessed would have happened, not this early. Telling him about the extent of her infidelity, she had imagined, would have been much more difficult to get over, but Derek seemed to be able to forgive her for that, a lot easier than she could forgive herself. All he wanted was to have her for himself.

Complaining about it was the last thing on her mind, but she just wasn't sure. She wanted this, definitely, but was just afraid; afraid of moving too fast, afraid of just messing this up. The last time either of them had sex was not with each other. If they were to make love, they needed to be really ready for this.

Addison could see that Derek was. This was something he wanted and was ready to leap for. He was the love of her life and if he leapt, so would she.

Keeping her eyes fixed on his to make sure he didn't have any second thoughts about this, her hands went to the bottom of his shirt, slowly pulling it up and over his head.
dr_shep on December 31st, 2006 10:19 am (UTC)
Derek raised his hands and allowed her to slip his shirt from over his head. As soon as she had tossed the offending garment aside, he brought his hands to her cheeks and pressed their lips together in a tender kiss. His lips opening hers and his tongue slipping inside just slightly. It wasn't nearly as foreful as his desire.

He could see that she needed proof that this was what he wanted. She seemed so reluctant, and he knew it was because of his pain. In twelve years he had never seen Addison reluctant. He pulled back from the kiss and pressed a series of quick kisses to her lips.

When he pulled away from the kisses, he was breathing heavier and wanted her more than he had in their entire time together (at least more than he had since their honeymoon), but he wouldn't push her. He wouldn't force her.

"I need you to be mine again, Addie," He told her softly, fingering the top button on her blouse but not undoing it, "I need this to be what I'm fighting for."

He brushed his lips across hers and slid them to the spot below her ear, his tongue darting out to touch it softly, knowing it would elicit the reaction he wanted. "You... are my wife."
xaddis0nx on December 31st, 2006 10:43 am (UTC)
As Derek's tongue gently went out to meet the spot below her ear, Addison immediately started breathing heavier and she let out a soft moan, tilting her head slightly and leaning in to get closer to him. Her desire to be with him increased as he continued and she knew that she needed this just as much as he did.

She couldn't remember when they had wanted or needed to be with each other this much. Sure, there were nights when needed to get things out of their system, from a rough day at work to just dealing with life, sex had been a way to relieve them of their frustrations. It was therapeutic. It became something they did just because they were married. It'd been a while since they actually made love to show just how much they loved each other.

This wasn't going to be something they did just for the heck of it. This had no other underlying reason. This was just them getting back to being Addison and Derek again.

"I'm your wife," Addison said softly, a few tears slipping from her eyes as she wrapped and arm around him and kneaded the muscles of his back, "And I am yours."

She pulled him closer and brought her other hand up between their bodies to the top of her blouse, unbuttoning it as her hand made its descent.
dr_shep on December 31st, 2006 10:56 am (UTC)
Derek smiled as he heard Addison make those promises to him. That was what he wanted to hear. He saw the tears drip from her eyes and barely even had to worry if they were tears of joy or sadness. Without asking questions, he brought his lips forward and kissed away the moisture.

He pulled back slightly, his eyes meeting hers. All he saw was love, radiating from her, and he hoped he was conveying the same thing because he loved her. He wanted this more than anything because Derek loved Addison. It was perfect. Mark and Meredith could no longer be factors in their relationship (or at least no longer the elephant in the room that no one mentions) because they would have both moved past it. They would be each other's again.

His hands were still wrapped around her waist and he dropped one to the waistband of her skirt, slipping underneath the fabric slightly and teasing her skin softly with his fingers. He took the other hand and pushed hers aside so he could unbutton her blouse. His lips leaned forward, capturing hers softly.
xaddis0nx on December 31st, 2006 11:37 am (UTC)
Addison moaned softly into his mouth and smiled slightly against his lips. Her body shuddered as she felt his finger tips dip underneath the waistband of her skirt, shivers going up her spine. She followed suit, running her hands down his abdomen, hooking her fingers in the waistband of his pants, moving them along the fabric teasingly.

The moment couldn't be any more perfect. Their love and desire filled the room, resonating from their very beings. With this they were going to start over again. It was a blank slate and belonged to each other and no one else. It didn't matter that she had once been with Mark and it didn't matter that Derek had been with Meredith. What mattered was that they were here now, starting over and fighting to survive.

She removed her fingers from the waistband of his pants once Derek had finished unbuttoning her blouse so she could shrug it off. Reaching behind her with one hand, she unclasped her bra, breaking their kiss and pulling away from him. Addison stood before him, slowly letting the lacy material slide off her arms, revealing herself to Derek little by little. She caught his eyes with her gaze for a moment and she just looked at him, conveying that this, her body, was his and only his.
dr_shep on December 31st, 2006 06:41 pm (UTC)
Derek swallowed heavily as he watched Addison reveal herself to him, an intense look in her eyes. This was amazing. They were connected; they were just Derek and Addison. Right now, nothing else mattered, just their love and desire for each other.

For the first time in months, Derek's mind was solely on Addison. The rest of the world had truly disappeared. There wasn't a Meredith or a Mark. They weren't having any troubles. They were just in love.

He took one step forward, closing the distance between himself and Addison. His hands were extended, and he placed them on her hips pulling her completely against his body. With a small smile, his lips found hers in a kiss, his tonge immediately seeking entrance in her mouth.
xaddis0nx on December 31st, 2006 10:46 pm (UTC)
Her lips parted and allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth. Her arms snaked around him and she let her fingers softly graze the skin at the small of his back. The feeling of her breasts pressed up against his chest sent tingles all over her body, her skin heating up.

Tearing her lips away from his, Addison kissed down his neck, brushing her lips against his throat as she continued her descent. She moved her body down, placing kisses on his chest, his abdomen, and along the waistband of his pants.

Addison wanted this to be absolutely special. Tonight things had to be taken slowly as every move conveyed just how much they cared for one another. She loved Derek and tonight was the night to show him that she really was his forever, that she would never give herself away again.

She kissed her way up again, her hands seeking the drawstrings of his lounge pants to pull them down.
dr_shep on December 31st, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
As soon as Addison had made her way back to her full height, he sought her lips again. As his tongue massaged hers, he shifted his hips backward so she could slip his lounge pants down and stepped out of them when they were far enough down his legs.

Derek brought one hand up to her breast, cupping it slightly as he ran his thumb over the nipple. He was intent on exploring her body, every inch. It was time to reclaim what was rightfully his, and this was the only way. One hand still on her breast, the other undid the clasp and zipper on the side of her skirt.

He pulled back slightly, wanting to see her as he did this before finding her earlobe with his teeth, "I love you, Addie."
xaddis0nx on January 1st, 2007 07:40 am (UTC)
Addison let out a moan when Derek's teeth made contact with her earlobe. Her hand went up to run her finger nails down his arm as the other cupped his hardening member, rubbing it slowly through his boxers, happy to get the reaction she wanted.

"I love you, Derek," she said breathily, her voice low and filled with desire. Addison was ready to give him anything, to give up anything to be with him. He was the only one she imagined sharing her future with and she wouldn't want to have it any other way.

Mark could never measure up to Derek and neither could Finn. Derek was the only love of her life and the only she wanted. He was the only one who was supposed to have her and she promised herself that that's what it will be. She would be his forever and always, completely.
dr_shep on January 1st, 2007 08:13 am (UTC)
Derek moaned as Addison's skilled hand made contact with his hardness. He dropped his head to her shoulder momentarily so he could regain his bearings and adjust to the sensation.

He lifted his head and brought his mouth to hers, nipping slightly at her bottom lip. As he continued to tease her lips, Derek took pulled her hand away from his boxers and intwined their fingers. He brought their connected hands to his lips, pulling away from her so he could press a kiss to her knuckle.

This kissing and slow undressing was all good and well. It was his reclaiming of her body, their reconnection. He was ready to take this further, to fully connect with her, and that wasn't going to happen standing in the middle of the trailer.

Their hands still connected, he slowly lead her back to the bed, crawling atop the covers and leaning against the propped pillows waiting for her to join him.
xaddis0nx on January 1st, 2007 08:35 am (UTC)
Looking down at Derek, Addison could see the love and lust in his eyes. They both needed and wanted this so badly. It was time that they become Addison and Derek again, connecting in the way they'd always excelled at in their earlier years of marriage.

Addison let go of his hand and stared at him. There lay Derek, her only love and her past, present, and future. She would never give herself to anyone else again because he was the only one who could have her completely.

Slowly, she hooked her thumbs into the waist band of her panties, pulling them down slowly, revealing herself to him just as she'd done with her bra. After they pooled down to the floor, Addison stepped of them and joined him on the bed.

"I'm yours forever," Addison said softly as she scooted closer to him and brushed her lips against his.
dr_shep on January 1st, 2007 08:45 am (UTC)
Derek's eyes widened as Addison stripped off her underwear, leaving her completely naked. Her body was gorgeous, flawless even, and he momentarily had a flash to the time not long ago when thoughts of her hadn't instilled much desire at all. How could he have not wanted this? How could he have not wanted her? He vowed never to let that happen again.

"Forever," Derek repeated, appreciating that her words were mimicking everything that he wanted.

He slid his hand into her hair, cupping the back of her head so he could intensify the kiss. As their tongues dueled, Derek slid his fingers to the inside of her thigh and trailed them upwards, finding heat and wetness at the convergence of her legs. He smiled against her lips as he slipped one finger into her.
xaddis0nx on January 1st, 2007 09:03 am (UTC)
Addison let out a groan into his mouth at the sensation of having his finger inside of her. She had missed this, taking things slow as they worked their way to making love. It wasn't boring sex they had just to have sex. It wasn't rushed shower sex to relieve the stress of their long day. It was just two people coming together and showing how much they loved one another.

Purring softly, she lifted her hips slightly to push herself further onto his finger. Her hands went down and pulled at his boxers, pulling them down to release him from the constricting fabric. Her fingers immediately wrapped around him and began to stroke him with the same rhythm his finger was moving in and out of her.
dr_shep on January 1st, 2007 09:21 am (UTC)
A groan that mimicked Addison's escaped Derek's throat as soon as her delicate fingers wrapped around his shaft. He paused the motion of his finger as he took a moment to adjust to the sensation, but he soon regained his rhythm with Addison's. Slowly, he circled his thumb around her bundle of nerves, intent on increasing her pleasure and showing her how much he wanted her.

Derek allowed their mutual pleasure to continue for some time before he felt his own hips bucking instinctively, needing more. He pulled their lips apart, meeting her intense gaze and moaned breathily, "I need you, Addie."
xaddis0nx on January 1st, 2007 09:49 am (UTC)
She stared into his eyes, hers filled with so much lust and passion as his finger was still inside of her. Her teeth grazed along her bottom lip as she gave him a small nod and released his shaft from her grasp. Leaning in, she kissed him again with her already swollen lips.

Addison moved to let his finger slip out of her and made him lay on his back. She straddled his hips and looked down into his blue eyes, grabbing his cock again and positioning it at her opening. His name came out of her mouth in a gasp as she sank down onto him, taking in his full length. She took a moment to adjust to the sensation before moving her hips in small circles.

Their love for each other radiated from their bodies as they moved in sync with one another. Addison couldn't believe how wonderful this felt; them connecting as they were. This feeling was something she'd never felt before and her love for Derek seemed to increase with each passing second, each motion of their bodies.
dr_shep on January 1st, 2007 10:30 am (UTC)
Derek threw his head back against the pillow as Addison lowered herself onto his shaft. Waves of pleasure coursed through his body as he adjusted to the sensation of Addison around him. He bucked his hips as Addison started her motion, finding a rhythm with her almost instantly.

This was the most connected Derek had ever been with Addison. This was their reconnection, their reconciliation. More love radiated between them than he would have imagined possible. It was intense, and it was all he needed. It was all he needed to know that Derek and Addison were going to be a permanent thing (for real, this time).

He slowly trailed his hands around to her bottom, using them to guide her along him so he could increase his strokes. He wanted this to be the most memorable love-making session of their lives. He wanted this to make them forget that they had ever been apart. No one else would matter because of this connection.
xaddis0nx on January 1st, 2007 11:24 am (UTC)
Addison completely gave herself to him, her body only moving to the motions he was setting for them. She breathed heavily, her hips moving herself up and down on his shaft, occasionally making a small circle. The feeling of being filled completely overpowered all of her senses.

She couldn't feel or think about anything other than the feeling of Derek thrusting into her each time as she sank down on him. In this moment nothing else mattered and this was most important; the rebirth of Addison and Derek. They were erasing all of their infidelities and starting anew as if this were their honeymoon again. Mark, Finn, Meredith; none of them existed now.

There were still things that Addison and Derek needed to face, things that would make things a whole lot darker for them. Right now, though, those worries were far from their mind. Every ounce of energy and feeling was put into their love-making. It was going to be a night they would never for get and would cherish forever.
dr_shep on January 1st, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
Derek placed a hand on her back and kept one on her bottom and used his weight to flip her over so he was on top. He wanted the leverage, to have more control over their actions, and, as soon as he was on top, he resumed their rhythm.

His eyes met hers, feeling an intense love radiating from them, and he knew they would be okay. He knew their affairs were behind them. No one mattered beyond the two of them here, in this moment. They would make it.

He lowered his lips to hers, capturing them in a kiss.
xaddis0nx on January 1st, 2007 08:31 pm (UTC)
A groan escaped her lips as Derek turned them over and lay between her legs, continuing to thrust into her. She moaned into his mouth as her legs went up to wrap around him, giving him a better angle and allowing him to go deeper.

Their connection was beyond amazing, making everything worth it. All the pain they've suffered, all the troubles they've been through; it was all for this. Enduring everything was all made worth it because they could always find each other again, they could always get back to this state of sheer bliss and passion.

Her hands clawed at his back and arms as her legs wrapped around him tighter. Addison could feel her muscles tightening around him as he brought her to the brink of her climax, her moans growing louder into his mouth as their tongues dueled.
dr_shep on January 1st, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC)
Their tongues dueled, and Derek couldn't help smiling against her mouth as she moaned into his. He always loved the noises she made while they were making love. They always served to give him more pleasure and drive him more over the edge.

He could feel her inner muscles clenching against him, and he pulled back from the kiss, nipping at her lips. He wanted to hear her as she reached her climax. He wanted to hear his name on her lips. Nothing could match the way she said his name.

Still nipping at her bottom lip with his teeth, Derek thrust as deeply and completely into her as he could manage. He wanted her to remember this. He wanted to remember this.
xaddis0nx on January 1st, 2007 11:50 pm (UTC)
Addison kept their eye contact as he continued to move above her. She gasped for breath as he brought her closer and closer to her peak. Lifting her hips to meet his thrusts, she groaned and gripped onto his arms, digging her nails into his skin.

It wasn't long before Derek pushed her over the edge, her orgasm making her body shudder as she moaned out his name. Her eyes finally shut as she rode out her orgasm with Derek still moving in and out of her.

To Addison, this had to be the best session of love-making they'd ever had. She'd never felt more connected with him than she was now. The thought that their love could grow this much with so little time was unbelievable. They'd gone from being unfaithful and on the brink of divorce to this; loving each other more than they'd ever done so before. It was amazing in and of itself.

Her hands traveled to his back, softly caressing his sweat-covered skin as she awaited his climax to make her truly his again.