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29 May 2007 @ 09:48 pm
We all get by with a little help from our friends  
Their day at the Brownstone had gone fairly well. There was a lot of pain and plenty of tears were shed, but at the end of it all, Addison and Derek had managed to find each other again. They were starting over, beginning a new life. It wasn't so much a clean slate because their past was always going to be there, but they were finally getting past it and letting go, moving on with their lives so they could be happy the way they should be.

After they'd spent the rest of their afternoon together shopping and doing other "things," they decided to give their friends and family a call, knowing that they'd never be able to live it down if someone found out that they were back in New York and didn't bother to tell anyone. Addison had called Savvy and Weiss first before calling Derek's mom. The plan soon became having dinner with Savvy and Weiss that evening and lunch with Mama Shepherd the next day.

Now they were at their friends' house. Derek was out in the living room with Weiss while Addison stayed in the kitchen to help Savvy.
xaddis0nx on June 30th, 2007 04:42 am (UTC)
"Um, Mom said 11:30," Addison replied after taking a moment to recall what her mother-in-law had said over the phone earlier, absently squeezing his hand a little tighter.

If she were to be completely honest, she was a little nervous about seeing Derek's mother. It'd been quite a while since they'd seen each other face to face, and despite the reassurances that Mom gave her, Addison always felt guilty about cheating on Derek, and even moreso, cheating on Derek with Mark who just happened to be like a second son. Everything was really complicated, but that's what New York was about for them, even if it could be perfect. She knew that, just like facing the Brownstone, meeting up with Mom would work out as well.
dr_shep on June 30th, 2007 07:00 am (UTC)
Derek gave a brief nod in response, signalling his intent to turn into the hotel parking lot. He glanced over at Addison with a smirk, "Does it make me a bad son if I skip and just send you?"

The question was made in jest, but there was some hint of truth in his desire not to go. He was the only boy in the family, and he'd lived without a father for most of his life. Addison had come into the family and fit in well. She'd become like a sister and friend to his sisters and a daughter to his mother. Derek had been a part of the family, but he had always been much more comfortable with Mark. Now, going to see his mother, after everything that had transpired, wasn't something he was looking forward to in the slightest.
xaddis0nx on June 30th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
"Possibly," Addison replied with a soft smile, "But I'd be more worried about being a bad husband if you send me alone."

Though a part of her looked forward to seeing her mother-in-law again, the majority of her feelings leaned towards fear. She was scared that Derek's mother would not see her the same way again due to everything that had happened. Sure, Mom had expressed her feelings on the issue, but it was all done by phone or through one of Derek's sisters. There was no reason for Addison to question her sincerity, but she often wondered whether it was all said out of pity considering what Derek was putting her through then.

She gave Derek's hand a squeeze, "I think we both need to do this, Derek."
dr_shep on June 30th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC)
"I'm not so worried about the bad husband rap," Derek shook his head, smirking over at her once he'd guided the rental car into a parking stall, "There are other ways I can prove my worth as a spouse."

He gave her a more somber nod when she made the last part of her statement, squeezing her hand in response, but didn't say anything else. Instead, he turned to get from the car, opening his door and walking around to the back of it to wait for her.

"You won't even know I'm there. You two can gang up on me when I'm not there," He suggested as he took her hand and started for the hotel.
xaddis0nx on July 1st, 2007 01:27 am (UTC)
Addison stuck her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout as she looked overat him with her big eyes, the two of them walking towards the hotel entrance. "I'd miss you if you weren't there," she said softly, bringing her lips closer to his ear for a brief moment.

They made their way through the hotel doors and walked through the lobby. Her fingers were laced with his as she traced random circles onto the side of his hand with her thumb.

"Besides," Addison added when they were a few steps away from the elevator, "Being there would mean more to me than other things."
dr_shep on July 1st, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)
He might have made the requests not to go, but he'd never had the intention of not going. He knew Addison wanted his there, and he'd never been able to deny her what she wanted, especially now that they had rekindled everything. As he pressed the button to call the elevator, Derek pulled her into his body and brushed his lips across hers briefly, "I'll be there, Addie."

The Brownstone that morning had been difficult. It had opened old wounds, and he'd been forced to recall his wife's betrayal of him. Seeing his mother tomorrow wouldn't be hard in that aspect, but it certainly wouldn't be easy. His mother had given him a piece of her mind only through his sisters, and he knew he would be in for quite a lecture tomorrow when he saw her.

"You're sitting between me and her, though. I'll use you as a shield," He suggested, dipping his lips to hers again.
xaddis0nx on July 1st, 2007 09:32 am (UTC)
"Thanks," Addison said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes, "You're such a great protector, honey."

Leaning in, she allowed him to kiss her, deepening the kiss for a moment before pulling away and leaning her forehead against his. They were both nervous about tomorrow when they probably shouldn't be. It was just Mom, but then again it was Mom. She always had a knack for making one feel guilty about anything, ranging from not calling to not showing up to the Shepherd Christmas party. Now, there was a lot the two of them had to be guilty for, and their visit wasn't going to be as pleasant as possible.

"So what do you think we'll have to do before Mom forgives us for not having really kept in touch?" Addison wondered softly, stroking his arm gently.
dr_shep on July 1st, 2007 06:24 pm (UTC)
Derek shrugged, unwrapping his arms from around her as he lead her through the open elevator doors. He pressed the button for the floor of their room and stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and dropping his chin to her shoulder.

It was so strange for him to watch Addison so nervous about seeing his mother. His mom had always loved Addison, and, in her eyes, Addison could do no wrong. There was no reason for her to feel at all nervous about the aspect of seeing her. Derek guessed, however, it had something to do with the way he'd treated her since she'd slept with Mark. He'd been so focused on causing her pain and making them 'equal' again, Addison had to have the same fear that it would happen with his mother.

"All you have to do is show up and she'll forgive you. You know that, Addie," Derek mused softly.
xaddis0nx on July 1st, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC)
"Yeah, I guess so," Addison said quietly, placing her arms on top of his as she leaned back against him.

Her fingers ran across his arms and she turned her head, pressing her forehead against his temple. It was nice to have her Derek back, the supporting and loving husband, ready to take away all of her worries. She'd missed him and how happy they could be. Now he was back, and now matter how badly tomorrow might go, she knew that he'd be there by her side to help her through it.
dr_shep on July 1st, 2007 07:14 pm (UTC)
He could tell she didn't really believe what she was saying, and he hated that she was so nervous about this prospect. Derek knew she wasn't the one going to have trouble with tomorrow's visit. He brushed his fingers along her sides without ever relinquishing his hold on her as they stood their.

"Addie, you know my mom loves you," He spoke after several moments, a small smile on his face, "Tomorrow is going to be easy for you."
xaddis0nx on July 1st, 2007 08:13 pm (UTC)
"I know," Addison replied, turning around in his arms and giving him a smile, "But I don't think it'll be too bad for you either, honey."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned forward to rest her forehead against his. It wasn't long before they arrived at their floor and the elevator doors opened up again. With a soft smile, she turned, lacing their fingers together before starting down the hallway.
dr_shep on July 1st, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)
Derek smiled over at her as they made their way down the hallway, hand in hand. It wasn't a new revelation but having Addison at his side always made things more bearable. The way she loved him and the way she knew exactly what he was thinking made even the toughest things bearable.

He dug into his back pocket for his wallet and procured the key card when they reached the hotel room door. After unlocking the door, he pushed it open and allowed Addison to enter first.
xaddis0nx on July 1st, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
Addison stepped into the hotel room, dropping her purse onto the table. She made her way over to the bed and kicked off her shoes, leaving them at the foot of the bed. She leaned back against the bed, placing her hands behind her on the mattress.

Watching him as he entered the room and did what was necessary, Addison smiled to herself. It'd been so long since the last time they'd taken time off just to focus on them. Granted, focusing on their past wasn't the greatest thing, but they'd really been able to work out some things and move on. No matter how she looked at it, this trip had worked out well so far.
dr_shep on July 2nd, 2007 03:38 am (UTC)
Derek dropped his keys, wallet and phone on the nightstand before kicking off his shoes and discarding his socks. He turned to face Addison, smiling when he spotted her relaxing on the bed and watching him.

Leisurely, he crossed to her and leaned forward, placing his hands on the bed on each side of her thighs. He closed the space between their lips, kissing her tenderly before dropping his forehead to hers, "I love you."
xaddis0nx on July 2nd, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC)
Addison smiled softly, letting her eyes flutter closed as she focused on their close proximity and the way their breaths mingled just a few inches in front of them. "I love you too, Derek," she said softly, opening her eyes to look into his again.

She couldn't stress the fact enough that she was so happy that they were trying again. At first, she'd been slightly reluctant, especially when it came to visiting New York and facing their past. But now, that might have been one of the best things they'd decided to do. They were finally getting past many of the dark things that they'd been through and were finally moving on.

"Thank you again for suggesting that we come back here," she said, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek.
dr_shep on July 3rd, 2007 02:49 am (UTC)
derek siled softly, watching her intently as she closed her eyes and focused on the proximity of their faces. He reached one hand up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear before responding, "I'm glad we're here, Addie."

It was a completely honest statement; Derek did love being here with her. Being in New York allowed him to focus solely on Addison. It seemed to bring them close. Recalling how muc he loved her was important,but he couldn't helpt a tiny fear from creeping up that it wouldn't last when they returned to Seattle. Hopefully, surrounding himself in moments like this would make it harder to forget.
xaddis0nx on July 3rd, 2007 04:54 am (UTC)
"Me too, honey," Addison mused softly with a small smile before she tilted her head to capture his lips in a sweet and gentle kiss.

If she had a choice to pick between Seattle and New York, she'd pick New York in a heartbeat. However, it was a part of their past now, and they're future was in Seattle. There, they would start over and create a life for themselves. Soon enough, it would become their home. She could only hope that that home could one day live up to this one.
dr_shep on July 3rd, 2007 05:23 am (UTC)
Derek pressed a quick kiss to the tip of Addison's nose once their lips were apart before settling himself next to her on the bed. He draped an arm around her waist, pulling her as close to him as possible and dropping several kisses to he neck. Dropping his chin to her shoulder, he mused softly, "It was good to see Savvy and Weiss happy again."

He hoped he wasn't being to obvious about his alterior motives. Addison had certainly had something on her mind when they'd been with their friends, and he hadn't been able to figure out what it was in the slightest. While here in New York they'd been able to jump so many hurdles easily that Derek had every faith they could handle whatever hey needed.
xaddis0nx on July 3rd, 2007 07:14 am (UTC)
Addison snuggled against him and smiled, "I know. I've really missed spending time with them like that." She paused for a several moments, remembering the events of this evening before adding, "I think they have a happy future ahead of them...right after they get back on the same page that is."

Suddenly everything about having children came rushing back to her as she chanced a glance at Derek. She knew he would make a great father one day, and she'd really love it that could be proven soon, but she knew they weren't exactly ready for it. They were only starting to get over their past mistakes. There wasn't much room to make many new ones, and right now, Addison really didn't know where Derek stood on the subject of children. From what she saw at Savvy and Weiss's, though, didn't look like it'd do her any good to bring it up.
dr_shep on July 3rd, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)
Derek nodded slightly. He'd noticed the coollness between the couple earlier, but he'd been willing to play it off. Obviously, it was still on Addison's mind. He didn't want to bring it up however because it didn't look as if it would end positively, at least not yet.

"They've been through a lot. I don't think we can expect them to regain everything so quickly," Derek shrugged, placing one hand across his body and resting it on her knee.
xaddis0nx on July 3rd, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
"Yeah," Addison said softly, "They're not like us." She smiled at him, letting out a small laugh as she rested her forehead against his temple.

They seemed so happy here, and that only made her want to have children more. It'd be a good environment for them to be in. There wouldn't be any fighting or any major arguments. Everything would play out nicely and they'd finally have the family they'd always dreamed of.

Getting lost in the perfection of the moment, Addison decided to take a leap of faith and asked, "Do you--Do you ever think about having kids anymore, Derek?"
dr_shep on July 4th, 2007 04:37 am (UTC)
Derek allowed a small sigh to escape his lips when Addison wondered about children. They'd vaguely discussed children, and he'd gotten quite a view of how Addison was feeling back at Savvy and Weiss's. This topic concerned him more than he was willing to admit.

He'd always wanted a child. He had a family of super fertile sisters, and it was almost expected that he have mulitple children. It had always been Addison who just wasn't ready for the whole thing. They'd pushed things aside for their careers, and their marriage had certainly suffered for it.

But Derek just couldn't see having a child as a cure all. It wasn't going to magically solve their problems to bring a life into the world. They were so perfect right now. It was a lot more than he was willing to jeopardize, but he didn't want to alienate Addison. That would have been the worst thing of all.

"I... thought about it a lot when we were first together. How could I not with the sheer volume of children my sisters manage?" He mused after a few moments, bringing one hand to run through his hair as he leaned back on the other. "We would have beautiful children, Addie, and you're the only one I could ever raise a child with. But--"

"Are we ready for that? We're barely on two feet as it is.'
xaddis0nx on July 4th, 2007 05:49 pm (UTC)
Addison looked over at Derek and gave him a small nod understandingly before turning away and bringing her legs up to hug them. She knew that Derek was right. That was one of the reasons why she'd been reluctant to bring the subject up in the first place.

But she couldn't help but feel they were ready to face this challenge. They'd never been stronger, and she knew that if they pulled together, they could do this. Most importantly, though, she was scared.

Specializing in neonatology, Addison knew everything about conceiving to the rates of miscarriages. It would already be a major risk at her age to have a baby. She knew that that risk would only run higher if they waited longer. She didn't want to miss her chance, nor did she want to ruin anything with herself and Derek.

"I know," she said softly, keeping her eyes away from him, "It's hard to say that we are. But just look at us, Derek."

Addison turned and looked at him, her eyes filled with fear and anxiety, "We've never been this strong, and we've already proven that our love goes beyond the vows or the rings. I think we can do this, but you've waited all these years for me to be ready. I'll do the same for you."
dr_shep on July 4th, 2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
Derek sighed when he saw how fearfully she was looking at him. For the last dozen years, he'd wanted nothing more than to make Addison happy, and now he couldn't come up with a way to do that. She was understanding, and he knew she would never blame him for wanting to wait. It was just second nature to want to give her what she wanted.

"Addie," He reached out and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear before scooting closer to her and enveloping her in his arms. With a soft kiss to her temple, Derek sent his eyes upward and tried to figure out what he should say.

"I don't know what to do. I want to have a baby with you. I want nothing more than that. Let's just... let things happen. I know I love you, and I know nothing is going to change that."