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09 July 2007 @ 01:01 am
Derek stirred the next morning when the early morning sunlight was just beginning to illuminate the room. Yawning, he rolled to his side and used one hand to wipe his eyes of sleep. He snaked his arm out as he opened his eyes in a squint, still adjusting to the light, and he spotted the figure of Addison sleeping soundly, her back turned to him.

Smiling, he trailed his fingers lightly along her hair as he allowed memories of the previous day to wash over him. They'd gone to the Brownstone and, somehow, managed to emerge stronger and more in love than they'd ever been at any point in their relationship. Both infidelities and absence had been addressed and set aside for greater plans for their future.

And, Derek recalled as his grin grew, the family he'd always dreamed of was more of a possibility now than ever. It had been set aside for so long, but they were looking forward to a future. Sure, he had his doubts. They'd barely moved past the potential for a divorce, and he couldn't stop the nagging desire of just wanting Addison to himself from creeping up. But he also figured no one was ever really ready for parenthood. They could just attempt to be prepared for the opportunity and agree to love each other unconditionally. That was something he could do.

Addison stirred slightly, shifting in her sleep and bringing Derek from his reverie slightly. His eyes trailed down from the red locks that were splayed around her shoulders and on her pillow down to the milky skin of her back bared by the satiny lingerie she was wearing. Remembering Addison's promise before she'd drifted off to sleep, Derek glanced back at the clock; it was well after eight.

Wanting to make up for lost time, Derek scooted across the bed so he was close to her again. He nudged her hair out of his way, and his lips sought her neck. As his kisses formed a trail along her skin, becoming progressively more deliberate and moist, his hand traced the front of her body and pausing to pay special attention to each of her breasts.

"Addie," He called softly afer just a few moments, breathing heavily against her skin.
Their day at the Brownstone had gone fairly well. There was a lot of pain and plenty of tears were shed, but at the end of it all, Addison and Derek had managed to find each other again. They were starting over, beginning a new life. It wasn't so much a clean slate because their past was always going to be there, but they were finally getting past it and letting go, moving on with their lives so they could be happy the way they should be.

After they'd spent the rest of their afternoon together shopping and doing other "things," they decided to give their friends and family a call, knowing that they'd never be able to live it down if someone found out that they were back in New York and didn't bother to tell anyone. Addison had called Savvy and Weiss first before calling Derek's mom. The plan soon became having dinner with Savvy and Weiss that evening and lunch with Mama Shepherd the next day.

Now they were at their friends' house. Derek was out in the living room with Weiss while Addison stayed in the kitchen to help Savvy.
Derek lifted the styrofoam cup of coffee to his lips as his eyes scanned the slowly brightening city in front of him. He'd pulled one of the hotel chairs out to the balcony and positioned it in the open doorway so he was outside but could still hear Addison when she finally decided to wake up which he was hoping wouldn't happen anytime soon.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see her. Addison had this instinsctive way of always making everything better for Derek. She seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and what he needed without words ever needed to be exchanged. It was an advantage of having spent a dozen years together. Addison knew Derek probably better than Derek knew himself.

And that was exactly why Derek didn't want her to wake up. He was alone in the silence of the early morning with only his thoughts to keep him company. Right now, he needed to be alone. He didn't need to subject Addison to everything going on inside him. She was much better sleeping peacefully in the large, comfortable bed 15 feet away than she would have been keeping Derek company as he attempted to face his own personal ghosts, his self-pitying thoughts.

It was these thoughts that had rattled Derek from his slumber not once but twice. The first time, Derek hadn't been asleep more than an hour when his dreams had taken him to the Brownstone. He'd been a third person observer watching as he enclosed his hands around Addison's small wrists and threw her from their home and into the rain. As soon as the door had slammed in her face, Derek had been wrenched into consciousness, a sob choked in his throat and hands shaking in emotion.

Addison had almost stirred, but Derek had convinced her to roll over so she was no longer in his arms and go back to sleep.

After calming down, centering his emotions, Derek had drifted back to sleep only to have his dreams drift back to that night, again. Only, this time, he was stuck standing in the door of the bedroom just watching as Mark Sloan thrust into his wife as tongue traced along her lips. He was assaulted with this site for what felt like eternity until he was finally able to wake up and stop reliving that moment.

Deciding that sleep was obviously a terribly idea, Derek had left Addison asleep and gone down to the hotel lobby in search of coffee.

He'd found exactly what he was looking for and returned to their hotel room, settling himself in this spot and watching the city as he attempted to straighten out his thoughts about their impending trip to the Brownstone, biding his time until Addison would wake up.
31 January 2007 @ 07:51 am
Addison stared out the window of Derek's Range Rover as they drove along the Seattle streets, the rain pouring down onto the hood of the car, droplets forming on the glass of each window and cascading away as they drove. Fear filled her body even though she and Derek had been doing well. This was just a big step, a major step, but she wasn't sure if it was one step forward or two steps back.

They'd decided to go back to New York for a week or so, depending on if any major emergencies would call them back to Seattle or not. But they'd decided to go back to settle everything with their two estates; the brownstone and their house in the Hamptons.

It was good on some level. Everything would be finalized and they could move forward. But it held a lot of capacity for pain. They would have to go to the brownstone, the place where they'd shared a life together for a majority of their marriage, the place where he'd seen her sleeping with his best friend, and the place where he'd first truly given up on their marriage, walking away and fleeing to the other side of the country.

There were too many memories, good ones, bad ones, but they all would bring with them a great deal of pain. Addison new that she and Derek were doing well. She just didn't know if they were doing well enough to overcome this.

Swallowing hard, she continued to look out the window, glancing back at Derek every once in a while and wondering if after this trip she would lose him for good.
10 January 2007 @ 04:41 pm
Derek's day had been busy. The ER had been swamped with cases, and he'd spent the entire morning and most of his afternoon reading cat scans and performing craniotomies. There had been no time for lunch, nor time to stop and think about anything.

His day had been so busy that the first time Addison had crossed his mind for more than a fleeting thought was around four when he'd turned from dropping his post-op notes at the nurses' and seen a flash of red-hair entering the attendings' locker room.

Their morning hadn't been nearly as perfect as the one from the day before. They had awoken to the alarm, and he hadn't even had the chance to beg her to stay before their pagers had called them to duty. Though their morning had been far from perfect, the night before had certainly made up for it. Addison was his again, and he felt more content than he had in months.

He knew letting the entire hospital know now was probably not a good idea, so he was still exercising caution. He couldn't walk around asking for her; the nursing staff was far too astute to buy an off-handed explanation for why he was looking for his wife. And, with Meredith Grey having gone home after her surgery, Derek was certain people would start to talk.

So he tried to make his entrance into the locker room as casual as possible, making sure no one suspected a thing. His first thought when he entered it was that the locker room was empty, and he tried to remember if he'd actually seen Addison go in. Deciding that he had, Derek continued in and walked to the row where both of their lockers were located.

27 December 2006 @ 08:24 pm
Addison had left the trailer, a heavy feeling hovering over her. She knew the moment she and Derek shared in the trailer wouldn't be their last happy moment together. There were going to be lots of moments in which they would go out and find their love for one another again. The only problem was they would have to make time to work things out, to talk about the past, about Mark and Meredith, about why they fell apart.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they just know and move on? Why did they have to bring out the pain and everything that's happened? Addison knew it was something they needed to do. She knew very well without talking about those things, their marriage would fall apart again. She just wished they could fast forward through all of that and just be happy, just be Addison and Derek.

Of course, life never worked that way and they would have to battle it out, hoping and keeping faith that they would come out of it alive and stronger than ever.

She'd gotten Finn's first text message on her way to the hospital but decided against texting him back until she got to the hospital; however, by then he'd already withdrawn his first request and told her to take a rain check. Noting that she really needed to talk to him, Addison made a mental note to contact him later. The night before had been complicated and she was sure she'd led him on. Now things were different and she was going to work things out with Derek so she needed to tell him. He was a good friend and she was sure that she would need his shoulder to lean on when things got tough with Derek so she needed to be absolutely honest with him.

Her day had gone on with very little difficulty. Everything was the same as always. Patients, babies, mothers; just the same thing she dealt with on a day to day basis. Her mind however drifted to Derek quite often. They always had, but this had gotten to a point where she almost couldn't keep her mind off of it. Her mind was on Derek when she walked down the halls. It was on Derek when she wrote notes in a chart. The only time she could tear her mind away from Derek was when she was actually in surgery. She was a surgeon and her patients deserved the best. She would not let her personal life jeopardize a patient's life.

Now Addison was staring blankly down at a chart at the nurses' station, pen in hand but unmoving. All she could think about was Derek, wondering when she'd be able to see him again, when they could have a moment like they'd had that morning. She missed the sheer bliss and playfulness they'd always shared in the beginning of their relationship. The morning let her get a glimpse of that again and all she wanted was for every moment to be just like that; Addison and Derek, the way they were supposed to be. It was just a dream, but it was dream she was going to hold on to.
19 December 2006 @ 02:24 pm
Finn was seating at a quaint little coffee shop not to far from SGH. He planned to stay there for a little while, get some coffee, maybe a bagel, and read the paper. He also hoped that Addison would join him. He whipped out his cell phone and began to text her:

I'm at the Koffee Shop on the corner of 5th and 9th, I would love it if you would join me for a cup of coffee and some chat. Wha do you think about that?

Finn shut his cell and smiled to himself. He was
17 December 2006 @ 03:53 am
Derek's first thoughts as he slowly came to consciousness were centered completely around the sickening feeling in his stomach, the lack of any moisture in his mouth and the extreme pain in his head. Instinctively, he burrowed his face closer to Addison, wishing that the mere presence of her sleeping body would make his hangover disappear. As he was trying to quell his sickening feelings by covering his closed eyes in her hair, Derek realized exactly what he was doing.

Why in the hell was he holding Addison? She was staying in the hotel doing Mark. Derek was living alone in the trailer, battling a vet for Meredith's affections. He was not supposed to be holding Addison in his arms.

He opened one eye cautiously to verify that it was, in fact, his wife in his arms. If the familiar smell and feel of her body against him hadn't been enough, the sight of her red hair and pale skin sealed the deal. Which once again begged the question: Why in the hell was he holding Addison?

Pushing aside the debilitating hangover symptoms as much he could, Derek tried to analyze why Addison was sleeping here. He remembered appendicitis and Meredith. He could recall Addison's disappointment and Mark's unexpected arrival at SGH. There had been alcohol. Yes, there had definitely been alcohol.

And that was where details got fuzzy. Derek furrowed his brow, attempting to recall more of the stored memories. He'd definitely called Addison, but he couldn't remember why. Judging by their clothing, they hadn't had sex (although their cuddling was making him doubt that). That was all he could bring to light at this point in the morning; concentrating on his ailments was much more pressing.

With a sigh, he rolled away from her and pulled the covers over his head, successfully blocking out any light. He just wished the rest of the world would go away.
10 December 2006 @ 06:35 pm
The bell above the door rang as Addison quickly entered, trying to get out of the rain. She quickly scanned the bar for the one person she came there for.

She wasn't even sure why she was doing this. Well, she did know. She was doing this for Derek, but really, she shouldn't be. Right? Addison wasn't his wife anymore (at least she wouldn't be his wife anymore a couple days from now when they go to meet with the lawyer). She didn't have any claim to him. She didn't have any responsibility towards him, and yet here she was.

Addison loved him still and she would go through hell and back for him (she kind of already had). She hoped that deep down somewhere, he was still her Derek and that they could possibly work their way to being friends again. When their marriage fell apart, Addison had lost her best friend and her husband. Now, she only wanted to be able to hold onto one of them.

Her eyes finally fell on Derek who was sitting at the counter, nursing another glass of alcohol. She frowned as she went over to his side. "Derek?" she said softly, feeling all the eyes from people who work at the hospital on them. Derek just had to pick the one bar everyone from the hospital went to.
05 December 2006 @ 08:38 am
Derek Shepherd's head hurt. The ailment might have been a product of his ex-best friend's arrival in Seattle. Or it might have been because he'd spent much of the day concerned for Meredith's well-being and realizing that Finn Dandridge (the freaking vet) was truly the better guy for her. It could have had something to do with his wife's (soon to be ex) warning to not hurt Meredith. A warning that had affected Derek more than he thought was possible; a warning that made him feel that Addison was actually disappointed in him.

Or Derek's head simply could have been hurting because of the ridiculous amount of scotch he was currently consuming. He hadn't gone so far as instructing Joe to leave the bottle, but he vaguely recalled losing count at three glasses (doubles).

Whether or not it was the cause for the pain in his head, Derek was undeniably drunk. Debilitating-hangover-in-the-morning, make-really-stupid-decisions drunk. In college (and the few times he'd done this in high school) drunk dialing had been his favorite drunk pasttime.

And though it would certainly fall under the "really stupid decisions" category, making a phone call seemed like a really good idea. So, he fumbled around with the clip on his belt until he procured the phone.

With deliberate motions, squinting to concentrate on the words, Derek got to the contacts portion of his phone and pressed talk on the first entry.