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27 December 2006 @ 08:24 pm
Seattle Grace Hospital  
Addison had left the trailer, a heavy feeling hovering over her. She knew the moment she and Derek shared in the trailer wouldn't be their last happy moment together. There were going to be lots of moments in which they would go out and find their love for one another again. The only problem was they would have to make time to work things out, to talk about the past, about Mark and Meredith, about why they fell apart.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they just know and move on? Why did they have to bring out the pain and everything that's happened? Addison knew it was something they needed to do. She knew very well without talking about those things, their marriage would fall apart again. She just wished they could fast forward through all of that and just be happy, just be Addison and Derek.

Of course, life never worked that way and they would have to battle it out, hoping and keeping faith that they would come out of it alive and stronger than ever.

She'd gotten Finn's first text message on her way to the hospital but decided against texting him back until she got to the hospital; however, by then he'd already withdrawn his first request and told her to take a rain check. Noting that she really needed to talk to him, Addison made a mental note to contact him later. The night before had been complicated and she was sure she'd led him on. Now things were different and she was going to work things out with Derek so she needed to tell him. He was a good friend and she was sure that she would need his shoulder to lean on when things got tough with Derek so she needed to be absolutely honest with him.

Her day had gone on with very little difficulty. Everything was the same as always. Patients, babies, mothers; just the same thing she dealt with on a day to day basis. Her mind however drifted to Derek quite often. They always had, but this had gotten to a point where she almost couldn't keep her mind off of it. Her mind was on Derek when she walked down the halls. It was on Derek when she wrote notes in a chart. The only time she could tear her mind away from Derek was when she was actually in surgery. She was a surgeon and her patients deserved the best. She would not let her personal life jeopardize a patient's life.

Now Addison was staring blankly down at a chart at the nurses' station, pen in hand but unmoving. All she could think about was Derek, wondering when she'd be able to see him again, when they could have a moment like they'd had that morning. She missed the sheer bliss and playfulness they'd always shared in the beginning of their relationship. The morning let her get a glimpse of that again and all she wanted was for every moment to be just like that; Addison and Derek, the way they were supposed to be. It was just a dream, but it was dream she was going to hold on to.
dr_shep on December 28th, 2006 08:38 am (UTC)
Derek wiped the smile from his face as best as he could. Someone would suspect something if he continued to look like this for too much longer. He reached out softly and brushed Addison's arm but pulled it away almost immediately. Touching her was not something he should be doing in public.

And, once again, he was struck with how he didn't know his boundaries. She was Addison, the most desirable woman he knew (regardless of what he'd been telling himself for months). Anytime he was with her and happy, wanting her was guaranteed to be on his mind, but they were taking it slow. It was a good idea, but it still confused him.

He didn't even know what they would be doing later. Addison, he suspected, had no idea either. She seemed to share his confusion.

"Okay," He agreed, knowing he should move but not really wanting to.
xaddis0nx on December 28th, 2006 09:00 am (UTC)
"Okay," Addison said in the most casual tone she could muster as she hugged the chart to her chest, trying to make this as normal looking for a couple on the verge of divorce could get.

The confusion apparent in both of them, she knew, wasn't going to help them in the slightest. Neither knew exactly what to do or what to say, especially in front of half the hospital. The awkward moments would serve as another road block to solving their marital problems, but like everything else, Addison had hope that they would be able to overcome them.

"I'll call you," she whispered softly and made her way down the hall, resisting to turn around and look back at Derek. Addison desperately wanted to; to make sure he was there and all of this wasn't apart of a daydream due to her distractedness or just to see him one last time, comfortable and content, possibly before they were met with all the pain. Still, she refused to indulge herself, knowing that people would talk and that she needed to get used to not having Derek as much anyway.
dr_shep on December 28th, 2006 09:06 am (UTC)
Derek didn't watch Addison walk away, but it wasn't because he didn't want to. He simply couldn't. It would be too obvious to everyone around that something was going on between the two Shepherds. So, he kept his back turned to her and walked towards the stairway.

He still didn't know what the evening would bring, but he knew it would at least include Addison. That was enough for him, even if it wouldn't stop his mind from wandering to a million different possibilities. Even if it wouldn't stop him from worrying and dreading the pain that was certain to come soon, he would make Addison's mere presence enough.

He got into his SUV and started it. Addison was the only thing on his mind during the trip back to his trailer.