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27 December 2006 @ 08:24 pm
Seattle Grace Hospital  
Addison had left the trailer, a heavy feeling hovering over her. She knew the moment she and Derek shared in the trailer wouldn't be their last happy moment together. There were going to be lots of moments in which they would go out and find their love for one another again. The only problem was they would have to make time to work things out, to talk about the past, about Mark and Meredith, about why they fell apart.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they just know and move on? Why did they have to bring out the pain and everything that's happened? Addison knew it was something they needed to do. She knew very well without talking about those things, their marriage would fall apart again. She just wished they could fast forward through all of that and just be happy, just be Addison and Derek.

Of course, life never worked that way and they would have to battle it out, hoping and keeping faith that they would come out of it alive and stronger than ever.

She'd gotten Finn's first text message on her way to the hospital but decided against texting him back until she got to the hospital; however, by then he'd already withdrawn his first request and told her to take a rain check. Noting that she really needed to talk to him, Addison made a mental note to contact him later. The night before had been complicated and she was sure she'd led him on. Now things were different and she was going to work things out with Derek so she needed to tell him. He was a good friend and she was sure that she would need his shoulder to lean on when things got tough with Derek so she needed to be absolutely honest with him.

Her day had gone on with very little difficulty. Everything was the same as always. Patients, babies, mothers; just the same thing she dealt with on a day to day basis. Her mind however drifted to Derek quite often. They always had, but this had gotten to a point where she almost couldn't keep her mind off of it. Her mind was on Derek when she walked down the halls. It was on Derek when she wrote notes in a chart. The only time she could tear her mind away from Derek was when she was actually in surgery. She was a surgeon and her patients deserved the best. She would not let her personal life jeopardize a patient's life.

Now Addison was staring blankly down at a chart at the nurses' station, pen in hand but unmoving. All she could think about was Derek, wondering when she'd be able to see him again, when they could have a moment like they'd had that morning. She missed the sheer bliss and playfulness they'd always shared in the beginning of their relationship. The morning let her get a glimpse of that again and all she wanted was for every moment to be just like that; Addison and Derek, the way they were supposed to be. It was just a dream, but it was dream she was going to hold on to.
dr_shep on December 28th, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC)
Derek smiled, "I seem to remember that being the same reasoning we used in med school."

He opened the refrigerator in search of something to drink, but all he found was beer. Opting against anything containing alcohol, he grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and filled them with ice and tap water. He set one on the table in front of her and debated where to set his own.

Finally opting on sitting next to her instead of across the table (because that was the way he had always done it when they were first together), Derek sat down and helped Addison remove the take-out containers from the bag.
xaddis0nx on December 28th, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
Addison laughed softly and was grateful that Derek had opted to sit next to her. It would calm her nerves, even if it was for a small amount of time. The happiness that they shared would help her get through the tougher things they'd talk about later because she'd be able to remember how good they could be. She only hoped that Derek could keep that in mind once she'd actually started talking about the things she'd been hiding for so long.

Opening the boxes, she smiled, glancing up at him every once in a while. "Well, it was a very good reason, just as it is now."
dr_shep on December 28th, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC)
Derek smiled, taking each of the boxes that Addison opened and looking in them to see what she had picked out.

Though they hadn't started the happiness he had been hoping to experience with dinner, Derek was already feeling more relaxed. This felt like what it used to be like to be with Addison. It was comfortable. And it gave him hope that they could make it through this because they both wanted to be happy.

"So, how was work?" He wondered lamely, trying to start any sort of conversation.
xaddis0nx on December 28th, 2006 09:23 pm (UTC)
"It was good," Addison replied a little too quickly. She didn't want him knowing that she'd practically been dreading this the entire day, just thinking about him every second of her spare time. It was too early to start talking about those things now. She wanted to hold onto whatever happiness they could.

She picked up the chopsticks and handed a pair to him, grabbing some broccoli beef with her pair. "Just a regular day full of surgeries. Luckily there weren't too many complications," she said, trying to recover and act as cooly as possibly. The fear just had to be pushed aside for now.

"What about you? What'd you do after you left the hospital?"
dr_shep on December 28th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)
Derek raised an eyebrow at Addison's rushed response, but she seemed to recover. He was able to write it off as paranoia. He was just afraid she had rushed her answer, and he was reading too much into it.

He smiled, reaching across her to scoop some of the Kung Pao chicken. He raised his hand slightly, to signal that he would answer her once he had finished chewing.

"Nothing, really," He answered, "Read a little of my book."

So that was a lie, but he needed to make it seem like he had done something. She probably wouldn't appreciate that he'd been laying on the couch worrying over their impending time together.
xaddis0nx on December 28th, 2006 10:20 pm (UTC)
Addison nodded slowly as she ate her food. She wasn't quite sure where they should take the conversation now. They couldn't jump into the pain and hurtful things, but they were running out of the normal, everyday conversation topics.

"Um, anything in the book worth talking about?" she asked after a few moments of contemplating their next topic and coming up with nothing.

Even in all their years of marriage, they'd never been in any situation such as this one. They were always comfortable around each other and talking was something they'd excelled in. Now, she was sure, they still had it in them. Their fears of what was to come was only getting in the way of that.

(OOC: I really should be withholding this. *glares* And THANKS for making me take so long. You know I'm right so GIVE IT UP!)
dr_shep on December 28th, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
Derek moved his chopsticks to the broccoli beef and tooka bite, stalling to see if he could come up with something to tell her about the book. It would have been much easier if he had actually read any of it.

"I didn't really get to read much of it," He answered honestly but didnt offer a reason why.

He glanced over to her, just a foot or so away. She was Addison, he reminded himself. He loved her. That wasn't a doubt. They should have been able to talk about anything, and if they couldn't, something should have occupied the silence.

Desperately needing something on his mind, he trailed his hand that wasn't holding the chopsticks to her knee.
xaddis0nx on December 28th, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
"Oh," was all she said in reply. Addison was sure Derek had had a lot of spare time during the day and he would have had a great opportunity to catch up on his reading. However, she didn't want to bring it up, knowing that he would have explained himself if he wanted to talk about it.

She smiled when she felt his hand fall on her knee. It was a comforting gesture and she thanked him silently by placing her hand on top of his, letting her thumb gently stroke the back of his hand.

The contact was what they needed, the sign that they still cared for one another. It was their light at the end of the dark tunnel. She was going to hold onto as tightly as she could because she refused to give up. They'd been through so much and it would be a waste to stop now.

Addison gave his hand a gentle squeeze as she swallowed the piece of food in her mouth and looked over at him with a smile. With the feeling of his touch, she didn't feel the need to have to be talking. It just felt right, sitting here with him and enjoying their meal together. Sure, talking was something they'd always done, but being together was what mattered.
dr_shep on December 29th, 2006 06:42 am (UTC)
Derek's eyes met Addison's smiling ones as she looked over at him. This was just like their earlier blissfulness. It would have been better if they were talking, but it really wasn't necessary. They had physical contact, and they were at least assured of each other's love.

After a moment's consideration, he leaned over slightly to give her a kiss, purposely missing most of her mouth and planting his lips near the corner of her mouth. He didn't want to be too forward as he was still unsure of the 'rules.'
xaddis0nx on December 29th, 2006 07:21 am (UTC)
Addison squeezed his hand tighter as she felt his lips pressing gently against the corner of her mouth. She lifted it from it's place on her knee slightly so she could lace their fingers together. Smiling, her gaze shifted down to the food.

If they weren't going to be talking, she figured they could at least be happy for the time being. She smiled and picked up a piece of beef, bringing it to his mouth. It was something a newlywed couple would do, it was something they once did, and she knew she was probably being ridiculous, but she couldn't help wanting to keep them in sweet bliss for as long as she could.
dr_shep on December 29th, 2006 07:58 am (UTC)
Derek instinctively opened his mouth to allow her to place the beef in his mouth. It was an intimate gesture, and he smiled as he chewed it. He loved this intimacy. It reminded him of their perfect morning.

They would come back here again where this wasn't a rarity. Loving gestures wouldn't be anything special because they would be constant. He would never let them stop.

"Thank you," He smiled after he swallowed and brought his free hand up to brush her hair behind her ear.
xaddis0nx on December 29th, 2006 08:11 am (UTC)
Addison smiled at Derek as she leaned into his touch. Those gestures were always endearing to her; tucking her hair behind her ear, fixing the collar of her blouse. She'd always loved little things like that that used to fill every spare moment of their relationship.

It'd come to the point where it didn't happen quite as often, but that was all going to change. She hoped that they would happen more ofthen rather than go down to zero, but she refused to focus on the bad possibilities right now.

"So how's the Kung Pao chicken?" she asked since she'd yet to eat some of it, taking a piece with her chopsticks and pretending to examine it closely as she awaited his reply.