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27 December 2006 @ 08:24 pm
Seattle Grace Hospital  
Addison had left the trailer, a heavy feeling hovering over her. She knew the moment she and Derek shared in the trailer wouldn't be their last happy moment together. There were going to be lots of moments in which they would go out and find their love for one another again. The only problem was they would have to make time to work things out, to talk about the past, about Mark and Meredith, about why they fell apart.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they just know and move on? Why did they have to bring out the pain and everything that's happened? Addison knew it was something they needed to do. She knew very well without talking about those things, their marriage would fall apart again. She just wished they could fast forward through all of that and just be happy, just be Addison and Derek.

Of course, life never worked that way and they would have to battle it out, hoping and keeping faith that they would come out of it alive and stronger than ever.

She'd gotten Finn's first text message on her way to the hospital but decided against texting him back until she got to the hospital; however, by then he'd already withdrawn his first request and told her to take a rain check. Noting that she really needed to talk to him, Addison made a mental note to contact him later. The night before had been complicated and she was sure she'd led him on. Now things were different and she was going to work things out with Derek so she needed to tell him. He was a good friend and she was sure that she would need his shoulder to lean on when things got tough with Derek so she needed to be absolutely honest with him.

Her day had gone on with very little difficulty. Everything was the same as always. Patients, babies, mothers; just the same thing she dealt with on a day to day basis. Her mind however drifted to Derek quite often. They always had, but this had gotten to a point where she almost couldn't keep her mind off of it. Her mind was on Derek when she walked down the halls. It was on Derek when she wrote notes in a chart. The only time she could tear her mind away from Derek was when she was actually in surgery. She was a surgeon and her patients deserved the best. She would not let her personal life jeopardize a patient's life.

Now Addison was staring blankly down at a chart at the nurses' station, pen in hand but unmoving. All she could think about was Derek, wondering when she'd be able to see him again, when they could have a moment like they'd had that morning. She missed the sheer bliss and playfulness they'd always shared in the beginning of their relationship. The morning let her get a glimpse of that again and all she wanted was for every moment to be just like that; Addison and Derek, the way they were supposed to be. It was just a dream, but it was dream she was going to hold on to.
xaddis0nx on January 5th, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
Addison knew exactly what kind of game he was playing, and she wasn't going to give in, not yet. She didn't initiate the kiss. Instead, she turned her head to the side and looked at the alarm clock, letting his lips drag across her skin.

"It's getting late. I might be too tired to help," she said, smirking. Her smile soon fell when she realized what they were doing and she remembered their promise to each other.

Addison didn't want this to end. It was too perfect to leave now, but they were being Addison and Derek. The last time they tried to work things out they had jumped back into being married. This time was certainly different, but she didn't want to risk it.

All torn up inside and unsure what to do, she stayed quiet. She didn't want to ruin the moment and she absolutely didn't want to be the one to end their perfect state of bliss. If anything, she would stay until Derek fell asleep before she would leave to go back to the hotel.
dr_shep on January 5th, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC)
Derek had been ready to retort and whine about her lack of kiss, but then her face had fallen. He pulled back from her so he was several inches above her face and observed her with concern. She was no longer playfully smirking, nor did she look content. Her brow was slightly furrowed, and she wasn't talking.

He raised an eyebrow curiously and brought one of his hands up to her face to brush her hair out of his line of vision. He couldn't think of anything he'd done to make Addison quiet all of a sudden. It was quite possible that he'd done something to irritate or hurt her, and that was what he feared. He just couldn't come up with what it was that was troubling her.

"Addie?" He called out softly, urging her to talk to him.
xaddis0nx on January 5th, 2007 08:47 pm (UTC)
The sound of her name broke her train of thought and brought her back to reality. Addison turned back to look at Derek, hating herself for doing the one thing she hadn't wanted; ruining the moment. It was perfect. It was them and she now messed it up by thinking too much.

She gave him a weak smile and brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek. "I'm sorry," she said, lifting herself up slightly to place a soft kiss on his lips. "I was just...thinking about not wanting to leave."
dr_shep on January 5th, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
Derek gave her a curious look and accepted the kiss but didn't really try to deepen it. It was beyond him why she was thinking about leaving right now. It was late, and she didn't need to be driving back into the city this late. Leaving in the morning he would have expected; her stuff was still at the hotel. The trailer was almost completely devoid of anything Addison.

She wasn't sad about leaving in the morning, though. There was no reason to be sad about that hours before it was going to happen. She had been thinking about leaving now. He just didn't know why.

"Don't be sorry," He shook his head and didn't return her smile. He was concerned, and that overtook all other reactions. "Why are--why--"

He sighed, trying to word the question so he wouldn't sound like a complete idiot or insensitive, "Leaving?"
xaddis0nx on January 5th, 2007 09:16 pm (UTC)
"Yeah, Derek," Addison said softly, giving him another quick kiss in hopes that it'd reassure him that there wasn't anything wrong with this. She loved this more than anything. She loved him and she needed him to believe that.

There wasn't a good explanation for it other than the one they'd used before. This moment was perfect and it shouldn't end, not this soon. Already it felt like it was coming to a close. She didn't want it to, but it was all thanks to her.

"Remember we promised we wouldn't jump back into being married so soon and that I would keep staying at the hotel and you here?" she asked, staring up into his eyes to see if he understood where she was coming from. "I don't want this to end, not now, but I'd rather it never end in the long run."
dr_shep on January 5th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
Derek understood, but he didn't like it. He didn't like their moment being ruined by Addison leaving. He didn't like that she didn't want to stay at the trailer. He just didn't like it.

Not jumping into being married was a good idea. They needed to work at it and try to find themselves again. He just didn't like her leaving; it was ruining their perfect moment.

He sighed and nodded reluctantly, "Yeah."

After observing her for a moment, he hoisted himself off of her. If she wanted to leave, he would let her.
xaddis0nx on January 5th, 2007 11:06 pm (UTC)
"Derek..." she called softly, cursing herself for bringing this up in the first place. She should have just snuck out and left a note when he'd fallen asleep. Now everything was ruined and Derek was hurt or upset. That hadn't been her intention at all. She just wanted them to stay perfect forever.

Addison reached out and took his hand in hers, holding it firmly. She sighed and looked down, having no clue how to get them back to their playful bliss. "I'm sorry...I don't want to leave."

There wasn't anything else she could think of to say to try and make things better again. She didn't want to leave or to end this moment, which had already happened anyway. Everything was a mess and she hated that it was completely her fault.
dr_shep on January 5th, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
Derek's eyes drifted to their connected hands before trailing up to her sad face. She was sad, too, and he honestly believed that she didn't want to go. It hurt, though. He didn't like the thought of her leaving, and he didn't think spending a night in the trailer negated everything.

He sighed, dropping his eyes to their hands again. Slowly, he brought her hand up to his face and pressed a soft kiss to each of her knuckles. He was trying to push the thought of her wanting to leave out of his mind, at least for the time being.

After kissing her hand, he looked up to her, "Then don't. Stay with me, Addie. I--"

"I don't think you staying one night is going to ruin everything. You used to stay over when we were dating. This can be like that."
xaddis0nx on January 6th, 2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Addison sighed and pursed her lips together, bringing her other hand up to brush hair out of her face. She looked up into his eyes and saw his desperation. He genuinely didn't want her to leave. He didn't want this to end. She didn't either, so how could she refuse him.

Letting go of his hand, she encircled her arms around him and pulled him close. "Okay," she said softly. "I won't leave tonight.

She hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. She knew that eventually 'just one night' would turn into another and another, but she didn't have the heart to turn him down now. They had to keep from making the same mistakes as last time, but they also needed to be happy with one another. The plan was to deal with the pain and spend time with each other to bring out the Addison and Derek again.

This was what they were doing.
dr_shep on January 6th, 2007 01:37 am (UTC)
Derek smiled, leaning in and capturing her lips in a slow kiss. It was a small victory, but he took pride in it. He knew tomorrow (or the next time they were together) would come with another battle to keep her staying with him, but tonight she was here.

He wanted back to their playfulness, now. If she was staying, he would make the most of it. He wasn't going to let her regreat this.

"Good," He grinned, nipping at her earlobe with his teeth, "Since you're staying, are you going to help me? I need to know what kind of surprises Addison likes."
xaddis0nx on January 6th, 2007 03:06 am (UTC)
Addison let out a soft, throaty moan as he took her earlobe between his teeth. She really wanted this moment to be perfect again, so she tried to push away all of her fears into the back of her mind and just enjoy this as it was. Believing that they could do this, that they could work this through no matter what was key. Faith was what they needed most and she had to believe that they wouldn't fall back into their old patterns.

Hugging him tightly, she pressed her cheeks against his. "Addison likes every surprise," she whispered softly in his ear, smiling softly.
dr_shep on January 6th, 2007 06:18 am (UTC)
Derek smiled, pushing her back against the pillows again so he could give her a kiss. He brushed his lips against hers fleetingly several times, "I'll keep that... in mind."

Although he knew full-well that Addson only likd surprises if she didn't know that there was going to be a surprise. If she got word that he was planning something it would be impossible to keep it a secret. She was absolutely insatiable, but it was also something that he had always loved about her, so he didn't mention it.
xaddis0nx on January 6th, 2007 07:08 am (UTC)
Her smile was growing brighter again as she lay with Derek, the unwanted thoughts of leaving quickly being put behind them. Addison reached and twisted a piece of his hair around her finger playfully. "I think it'd be in your best interest to do so," she said, grinning and capturing his lips again.

The thought of Derek giving her surprises made her feel happy and hopeful. She remembered the little things he used to do for her in New York. Sometimes there would be a small gift waiting in her locker, and other times, she just appreciated it when he brought her ju-ju. Whatever it was, Derek was always wonderful and she loved everything he did for her. She knew she wouldn't be disappointed when the time came.
dr_shep on January 6th, 2007 07:31 am (UTC)
Derek smiled slightly against her lips as his tongue sought entrance into her mouth. The threat of her leaving and thoughts of all their pain were ancient history, right now. All that mattered was that they were here together and that their lips were fused together.

He pulled away, finally, his breathing heavy. He brought his fingers to her forehead and brushed her hair away, "I love you, Addie."
xaddis0nx on January 6th, 2007 07:50 am (UTC)
"I love you too, Derek," Addison said happily as she smiled up at him. She pulled the covers back a little and motioned for Derek to crawl under the covers with her.

She wanted to be with him, every inch of their body in physical contact. She was his now and she wanted to feel that way. Derek would be the only one who could do these things to her, who could lie naked in bed with her and just talk and be in each other's arms. That was how things were supposed to be.