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27 December 2006 @ 08:24 pm
Seattle Grace Hospital  
Addison had left the trailer, a heavy feeling hovering over her. She knew the moment she and Derek shared in the trailer wouldn't be their last happy moment together. There were going to be lots of moments in which they would go out and find their love for one another again. The only problem was they would have to make time to work things out, to talk about the past, about Mark and Meredith, about why they fell apart.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't they just know and move on? Why did they have to bring out the pain and everything that's happened? Addison knew it was something they needed to do. She knew very well without talking about those things, their marriage would fall apart again. She just wished they could fast forward through all of that and just be happy, just be Addison and Derek.

Of course, life never worked that way and they would have to battle it out, hoping and keeping faith that they would come out of it alive and stronger than ever.

She'd gotten Finn's first text message on her way to the hospital but decided against texting him back until she got to the hospital; however, by then he'd already withdrawn his first request and told her to take a rain check. Noting that she really needed to talk to him, Addison made a mental note to contact him later. The night before had been complicated and she was sure she'd led him on. Now things were different and she was going to work things out with Derek so she needed to tell him. He was a good friend and she was sure that she would need his shoulder to lean on when things got tough with Derek so she needed to be absolutely honest with him.

Her day had gone on with very little difficulty. Everything was the same as always. Patients, babies, mothers; just the same thing she dealt with on a day to day basis. Her mind however drifted to Derek quite often. They always had, but this had gotten to a point where she almost couldn't keep her mind off of it. Her mind was on Derek when she walked down the halls. It was on Derek when she wrote notes in a chart. The only time she could tear her mind away from Derek was when she was actually in surgery. She was a surgeon and her patients deserved the best. She would not let her personal life jeopardize a patient's life.

Now Addison was staring blankly down at a chart at the nurses' station, pen in hand but unmoving. All she could think about was Derek, wondering when she'd be able to see him again, when they could have a moment like they'd had that morning. She missed the sheer bliss and playfulness they'd always shared in the beginning of their relationship. The morning let her get a glimpse of that again and all she wanted was for every moment to be just like that; Addison and Derek, the way they were supposed to be. It was just a dream, but it was dream she was going to hold on to.
dr_shep on January 6th, 2007 10:03 am (UTC)
Derek smiled, getting lost in her eyes for several moments. Her eyes were filled with such love, desire, contentment. He hadn't seen those things in her eyes in years. She looked gorgeous, and, of course, she was his. That made everything worth it. She was more his now than ever, probably even more so than on their honeymooon because they understood what they stood to lose.

"Let's pack up and take a long weekend. We'll fly to Vermont and go to that place with the bed," He smiled, touching the cheek that wasn't against his chest with the back of his hand, "You said you wanted to go back there."
xaddis0nx on January 6th, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
She grinned up at Derek, glowing with joy. Lifting her head up, Addison leaned her weight onto one arm and scooted up to hover her face over his. She watched him for a moment, studying his features she had already memorized over the years. She looked into his eyes and saw all the love she'd seen there over a decade ago.

"Really? Do you really mean it?" Addison asked, searching his face for answers. She had loved the place with the bed. It was so perfect there; the sheets, the fireplace. The time spent with Derek there was amazing and she wouldn't mind doing it again.
dr_shep on January 6th, 2007 07:42 pm (UTC)
Derek smiled softly up at her, her face just inches above his. The excited expression on her face made him want to laugh. She obviously appreciated his suggestion, as he knew she would, but he still enjoyed her reaction. He lifted his hand to her face and brushed his palm along her cheek.

Still smiling, he slid his hand through her hair and cupped the back of her head so he could guide her lips downward to his in a slow kiss, "Of course I mean it."
xaddis0nx on January 6th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
Addison pressed her lips against his, bringing her hand to caress the side of his face. Her tongue darted out and slipped into his mouth, tracing his lips. She opened her eyes slightly moments into the kiss, watching him.

She couldn't remember the last time things felt this way. Less than a week ago, she wouldn't have believed that they could get back here. She thought she'd still be chased by Mark while Derek was happy with Meredith Grey. Now things were looking up for them. They were happy. They loved each other. They were Addison and Derek again, and they hadn't been this good for a long time.
dr_shep on January 6th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
Derek opened his mouth when Addison's tongue snaked out, seeking entrance into his mouth. He used his hand that was cupping the back of his head to have some control of the kiss, but he allowed Addison much of the control, letting her tongue roam where it wanted.

The absolute perfection and unlikeliness of this moment was not lost on Derek. Here they were, as close as two people could get, sharing a night together and reclaiming each other.

Almost a week ago he'd been chasing Meredith Grey down a hallway and having sex with her in an exam room at prom, and, even more recently, Addison had brought Mark Sloan across the country to comfort herself. It seemed completely improbable that they would have reconciled and would have been seriously discussing taking a romantic vacation together.

He pulled her back slightly from the kiss so that their lips were still only inches apart, "Is that a yes?"
xaddis0nx on January 6th, 2007 10:20 pm (UTC)
Addison grinned and leaned down to place another soft kiss on his lips. "Of course that's a yes," she said, the happiness she felt written all across over her face.

Shifting her self upward, Addison rolled off of Derek slightly and snuggled up against his side, her head laying on the pillow next to his. Her arm draped across his mid-section and she pressed her forehead against the side of his face. Sighing contently, she gave him another kiss and got her self settled beside him.

Their lives were going to be perfect just as she had imagined them all those years ago. They still needed to get over some things, work out why their marriage fell apart before, but they were going to get through it. Addison knew it wasn't going to be absolutely perfect. They were still going to fight and banter, but that's just who they were.

"I love you," she whispered softly, closing her eyes and pulling him closer.
dr_shep on January 7th, 2007 04:53 am (UTC)
Derek smiled, running his hand softly along the arm that was draped across his abdomen. He turned his head slightly towards her so that he could see more of her features.

His mind was filled with thoughts of the prospect of their impending vacation. It had been years since they'd gone there, but they had always talked of going back. It had never happened. Derek had become absent, and any vacation had to be taken in the Hamptons (because it wasn't a very long drive from there to the city). Then they'd drifted apart, and vacations just weren't even planned.

That was going to change, Derek decided. He wasn't going to let them drift apart. They were going to take vacations, like they had when they were first together. They were going to have time that was just Derek and Addison, no pagers or work.

"I love you too," He whispered back, maneuvering his head so he could kiss the corner of her mouth, "We're really going to go on the vacation, Add. It's not going to be something we talk about but never do."

He knew that she probably wasn't doubting his sincerity. They were intimate and together. There was no reason to doubt, but he wanted to make sure that she knew. He wanted her to know that this wouldn't be like the hundreds of times before.
xaddis0nx on January 7th, 2007 05:25 am (UTC)
Addison let out a soft yawn, tired from everything that had happened today; the long surgeries at work, their emotional talk, their amazing love-making. All of it was exhausting, but this moment made every second of it worth it. Just laying here with Derek and being happy with Derek was worth all the pain that they've been through and that they will go through.

It had taken them a long time to get back here, but they had and that was all that mattered. Issues like his absence and indifference or their respective affairs would be brought up, but they didn't matter, not like they did. The most important part now was that they were happy. They were Addison and Derek. Their mistakes were in the past and will be dealt with, but this bliss was all that mattered.

"I know," Addison said softly, rubbing their noses together softly. "And I can't wait. I know it's going to be amazing, just like this."

She looked deep into his eyes trying to show him just how much she loved this. They were happy and better than ever. It was like they were back at their honeymoon and had their future laying ahead of them. So much time, so much to do, and they would do it all. They were Addison and Derek and they would live happily ever after even if they would occasionally hit bumps in the road
dr_shep on January 7th, 2007 08:06 am (UTC)
Derek could tell that she was tired by her yawn and somewhat droopy eyes. He was tired, too. Though his day had been spent doing very little, the lingering effects of the alcohol and the time he'd spent with Addison had been rather taxing. He continued running his hand along her arm softly, not wanting to give this moment up by succumbing to sleep just yet (although sleeping with Addison in his arms wasn't too much of a loss).

They still had a lot ahead of them. Their problems weren't over by any means, and they still weren't completely ready to return to marriage. There was a lot of pain that lay before them.

And there was still the issue of where they stood with each other outside of the trailer. They weren't going to make the same mistakes they had before, and Addison wasn't going to let him get away with moving too quickly. She'd made that abundantly clear when she'd suggested leaving earlier. He knew that in the morning she would return to her hotel and go to work on her own. He didn't even know what they would do at the hospital because the gossip mill certainly hadn't been helpful in rekindling the flames of their marriage the first time they'd tried.

He sighed, trying to push those thoughts out of his head so he could answer Addison without distraction. "Yeah, it'll be perfect," He smiled, honestly believing exactly what he was saying, but he wasn't able to put a lot of thought into it. His mind was more focused on where they were going from here.
xaddis0nx on January 7th, 2007 08:38 am (UTC)
Addison felt that Derek was tensing up a bit, but she wasn't sure if she should inquire him about it or let it slide for now. They'd been through a lot tonight and talked about very emotionally draining subjects. She wasn't sure if she was prepared for another one just yet. Still, she couldn't just let something bother Derek without dealing with it too.

They were in this together no matter what. She had to believe that they would be able to get through whatever it was. Derek shouldn't be going through it alone.

"Derek? Is something your your mind?" Addison asked, moving her hand along his side comfortingly and opened her eyes wider to show him that he had her attention.
dr_shep on January 7th, 2007 08:54 am (UTC)
There was really no going back and telling her that nothing was bothering him. She could sense that something was bothering him, and it was time to be honest with each other. They couldn't hide problems. Communication was key. They would get through everything if they could just remember that.

Derek gave her a reassuring smile, trying to let her know that it wasn't too much of an issue. He brushed a lock of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear, his eyes studying her face.

Addison's potential answer terrified him a little. He didn't know what she was going to suggest. Staying together, her moving back in, wasn't a good idea right now. They needed the time apart to realize how important they were to each other, but there was still a lot more to deal with. He just didn't want to be denied any Addison.

"Where are we going from here, Add?" He wondered softly, "With the whole being married thing, I mean. What does staying apart entail? How off-limits are you?"
xaddis0nx on January 7th, 2007 09:33 am (UTC)
With a small sigh, Addison began to contemplate the answers to his questions. Honestly, she didn't know and hadn't really thought much about what they could and could not do. It'd already been settled that distance was something that they would strive for to prevent them from jumping back into being married too soon. The rest of it was unclear.

Now was the time to figure out exactly what the terms of engagement for being married but apart meant. It wasn't going to be easy because now they had a glimpse of how wonderful they could be. They wouldn't want to give that up for anything. Addison didn't and she just wished that everything could be guaranteed to be okay so they wouldn't have to worry about this at all, but things never work out the way they want it.

"Well, it entails me not staying here very often and you not stay at the hotel with me very often," she said, knowing perfectly well that was the most obvious part of their arrangement. "And...I don't know, honey. Maybe we should just act like we're dating again. It should give us the time apart that we need and the time together that we could really enjoy."
dr_shep on January 7th, 2007 09:52 am (UTC)
When the phrase dating left Addison's mouth, the first images in Derek's mind were of Meredith Grey because she was the last person he had dated. Just days before he had been dating Meredith. As he tried to push thoughts of the frail intern out of his head, he realized that these memories of Meredith were different than they had been lately. He wasn't longing for them, he wasn't pining for her; they were simply there. They were facts of life. That was at least comforting.

Dating Addison was different than dating Meredith, anyways. It had been more than a decade since he'd dated her, and their dates had consisted more of makeout sessions stuck between studying for tests and attending class than anything else. It was a different world than the one they were in right now, but he could make it work. He was at least grateful she wasn't swearing off spending the night together completely.

"Does that mean I can feel you up during staff meetings like I used to during our pharmacology lectures?" He wondered with a playful grin, "Because if that's part of the deal, I think I can agree to it."
xaddis0nx on January 7th, 2007 10:57 am (UTC)
Laughing, Addison hugged him tighter and scooted as close as possible. Images of them in med school while they dated popped into her mind. There were many nights filled with Chinese food and cramming for tests. They had always found fun things to do during class; the best of them were when they were watching films. It had been fun and it'd been a time where they were just beginning to fall in love with one another. That was something they needed now to keep them going strong.

"I don't think I'd mind that," she said with a smirk and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "But I don't think Richard or anybody else would appreciate it as much as we would. So how about we keep the feeling up and the very physical stuff to just us?"

She loved how they could turn such a serious topic to something fun and playful. It was a sure sign that everything would work out for the best. They were already able to see the bright side of things and that was all that they needed to get through the darkness of their past. Faith would keep them together and would bring them out of the darkest times.
dr_shep on January 7th, 2007 11:28 am (UTC)
Derek chuckled, giving her shoulder a soft pat. Everything was coming back to playfulness. It was like they'd been when they were dating. They would fight, they would cry, and within minutes they would be laughing and feeding each other Chinese food or in bed laughing intimately. It was strange how much they, now at 36, mirrored their 24-year-old selves.

"You're such a kill-joy," Derek thrust out his lower lip in a pout, "I was seriously looking forward to that. You can't just lead me on."
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 7th, 2007 09:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 7th, 2007 10:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 8th, 2007 12:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 8th, 2007 12:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 8th, 2007 02:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 8th, 2007 02:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 8th, 2007 04:09 am (UTC) (Expand)