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10 January 2007 @ 04:41 pm
SGH Locker Room  
Derek's day had been busy. The ER had been swamped with cases, and he'd spent the entire morning and most of his afternoon reading cat scans and performing craniotomies. There had been no time for lunch, nor time to stop and think about anything.

His day had been so busy that the first time Addison had crossed his mind for more than a fleeting thought was around four when he'd turned from dropping his post-op notes at the nurses' and seen a flash of red-hair entering the attendings' locker room.

Their morning hadn't been nearly as perfect as the one from the day before. They had awoken to the alarm, and he hadn't even had the chance to beg her to stay before their pagers had called them to duty. Though their morning had been far from perfect, the night before had certainly made up for it. Addison was his again, and he felt more content than he had in months.

He knew letting the entire hospital know now was probably not a good idea, so he was still exercising caution. He couldn't walk around asking for her; the nursing staff was far too astute to buy an off-handed explanation for why he was looking for his wife. And, with Meredith Grey having gone home after her surgery, Derek was certain people would start to talk.

So he tried to make his entrance into the locker room as casual as possible, making sure no one suspected a thing. His first thought when he entered it was that the locker room was empty, and he tried to remember if he'd actually seen Addison go in. Deciding that he had, Derek continued in and walked to the row where both of their lockers were located.

"Add?"
 
 
 
xaddis0nx on January 11th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC)
Addison was standing before her locker, changing out of her scrubs since she'd just performed a successful surgery on one of the premies she'd delivered the day before. She'd heard the door of the locker room open, but didn't bother to look up to see who it is. Then she heard her name called and she knew exactly who it was.

"I'm over here," she called out, smiling softly to herself.

The events of the night before had left her with a bright smile all day. Addison was sure people were suspecting something. Most thought she'd hooked up with Mark, but she wasn't necessarily complaining about that. If they kept thinking that, they wouldn't be nosing around in her and Derek's business. There'd been enough talk about the two of them and she would be completely grateful if it'd end. She was sure it wouldn't, but a girl can dream.
dr_shep on January 11th, 2007 05:07 am (UTC)
Derek's lips curled into a grin as he found Addison. He took a few steps toward her but stopped before wrapping his arms around her. If they weren't alone he certainly couldn't take her into his arms and kiss her. With a sigh, he gave her a reassuring smile as he started for the other row of lockers to check for an other people.

"How has your day been?" He wondered, glancing back to her.
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 11th, 2007 06:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 11th, 2007 06:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
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xaddis0nx on January 13th, 2007 07:06 am (UTC)
"Fine," Addison said with a shrug of her shoulders, "But we should still stop at the hotel first. Unless you want to take two cars for the rest of the night."

She glanced back at the hospital, looking through the glass to see if anyone's eyes were on them. No one was looking at them and she had to wonder whether they really weren't looking or if they were just pretending not to look. Either way, it didn't really matter all that much. She and Derek would leave soon and wouldn't have to deal with being afraid of the hospital gossip mill for the rest of the night.
dr_shep on January 13th, 2007 07:10 am (UTC)
"Fine," Derek mimicked, shrugging his shoulders just as she had.

He followed her gaze back into the hospital and then looked back at her. Now that the issue of what they were doing and such was settled, there was no reason to linger. Standing together outside the hospital for too long would have been almost as suspicious as kissing her.

"I'll meet you at the hotel, then?" He wondered.
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 13th, 2007 08:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 13th, 2007 08:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
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xaddis0nx on January 14th, 2007 09:36 am (UTC)
"I love you too," Addison said, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye. She shifted in his arms so she was standing at his side, her arm still wrapped around his waist. They walked out of the elevator as they remianed like that, keeping as much contact as possible.

Walking down the hallway, Addison kept glancing at him for any signs of being uncomfortable or anything. She really didn't want to subject him to any pain they'd had in the past. Not yet and maybe not tonight. The darkness would come, but she didn't want it to come so soon. They'd just gotten their glimpse of happiness for the day, the past pain could wait a little bit longer, she hoped.

"You can uh, wait in the lobby if you want," Addison offered as they got closer to her suite. Sure, she would rather have Derek with her the entire time, but she knew that it would be hard on the two of them.

It'd already been difficult for her alone, returning there every night to be reminded of how she'd failed at everything. She'd ruined her marriage. She couldn't keep her husband. She couldn't get him to love her again. The hotel room was a symbol everything she didn't want. Addison wanted a home, a family, not being alone in a single suite in one of Seattle's finest hotels. It wasn't the life to live and she hoped that it would change soon.

Either way, Addison didn't want Derek to be reminded any more of that night. Things were mad enough as it was. They didn't need any additional complications.
dr_shep on January 14th, 2007 08:59 pm (UTC)
Addison had no idea how much Derek wanted to take her up on that offer, and his eyes drifted downard as he considered it. Going to the lobby was the significantly less painful option. He wouldn't have to look at the bed where Addison had given herself to Mark Sloan. He wouldn't be stuck in the room where they had oficially verbalized the end of their marriage (even though they had changed that fate, this room still symbolized it).

But going down to the lobby meant being away from Addison. It would make her hesitant to invite him up here again, and he really couldn't envision nights without her that would be ruined because Derek couldn't face this room. They were facing their problems, and they were working on becoming Derek and Addison again.

He couldn't just leave her here. Their reconciliation had to be more important than Derek's discomfort. Addison's arm that was draped around his waist had to remind him of that.

He slowly shook his head, trying to sound more confident than he felt, "No. I'll stay with you, if you don't mind."
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 14th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 14th, 2007 09:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - dr_shep on January 16th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - dr_shep on January 16th, 2007 04:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
xaddis0nx on January 16th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC)
Addison couldn't stop smiling as they made their way down the hall with Derek's arm around her waist. The night was beginning with a great start. They were happy despite having to leap over a small, dark part of their past earlier. It only showed how strong Addison and Derek are together and that they could survive anything.

"I love you too," Addison said, leaning closer to him while they waited for the elevator to arrive. She slipped her hand into the back pocket of his pants and gave him a smile.
dr_shep on January 16th, 2007 05:21 am (UTC)
Derek's grin grew as Addison's had slid inside his pocket, and he raised an eyebrow as he watched her. Leaning over slightly, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"Are you teasing me?" He wondered, pressing his forehead to hers.
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 16th, 2007 06:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
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xaddis0nx on January 19th, 2007 03:10 pm (UTC)
So many apologies for all of the wrongs that they'd committed. Addison had so much she was sorry for and had already apologized for...a lot of them. It just made her feel guilty sometimes, hearing him apologize. The sins she had committed were so much worse than his. Derek had been absent and indifferent. He'd run off to the other side of the country and started a relationship with someone else. Addison had slept with his best friend. She'd tried to love Mark and started a relationship with him. She did things unimaginable and so not like her at all.

Addison knew she could have stepped back, been a better person. She could have let him go and be happy with Meredith. Instead, she came to Seattle like the wicked witch of the east and took him away from that. It was her fault that he - they - were in so much pain. And even if they got through this rough spot, there would be more because of Addison and what she'd done.

She smiled at him sadly and gently brushed her hand against his, her fingers running across his palm gently. "We've both made a lot of mistakes," she said quietly, her voice raspy and weak. "I'm sorry too."
dr_shep on January 19th, 2007 11:12 pm (UTC)
Derek was so tired of being upset. He was tired of holding grudges, tired of apologizing. He was tired of Addison being upset. He was tired of the perpetual pain they seemed to be in. It was all so exhausting, and they couldn't get out of it.

He wanted nothing more than to be happy with Addison again. He wanted that blissful newlywed happiness they had experienced for so long. He hated constantly being upset with her, or her with him. He hated that almost everything they did brought up terrible demons from their past. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Derek and Addison were above all of that. They were the envy of everyone. Or at least they had been.

Getting back to that happiness fulltime would require facing their pain, but Derek didn't want to face their pain all the time. They needed to be happy, too. They needed the happiness to outweigh their pain.

Sighing, he cast his eyes around the mostly empty parking lot and ran his hand up the side of her arm. He stopped his hand at her shoulder, pushing her hair back as he took in her sad face.

He took a step forward, closing the space between them. He brushed his lips against hers fleetingly, trying to take some strength from the comforting gesture.

"What do you want to do, Addie?" He wondered softly. She could decide tonight. She was what mattered now, after all.
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 19th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 20th, 2007 01:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - dr_shep on January 22nd, 2007 05:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
xaddis0nx on January 22nd, 2007 05:55 am (UTC)
Addison let out out a low moan as his tongue made contact with the soft skin below her ear. Derek had always enjoyed stimulating that spot, mainly because it was one of the better ways to getting her aroused. It never failed to make her want him more or cause her to pool between her thighs. This time was certainly no different than before.

"Seriously," she said softly as she wrapped her arms around him tighter but relaxing the rest of her body, succumbing to his every will.
dr_shep on January 22nd, 2007 06:04 am (UTC)
Derek's breathing increased as he heard Addison moan, and he began a trail of moist kisses from the spot below her ear down to her collar bone. He couldn't seem to think straight, nor decide exactly what he wanted to do (or her to do). This was a lot of freedom, and Derek was definitely suffering from Addison withdrawal.

He slid one hand between them, hiking the bottom of her dress up slightly as his hand found the fabric of her panties. A smirk formed on his face as he felt the heat and wetness there, his fingers softly teasing her through the satin.

"Addie," He breathed against the skin on her shoulder, knowing there was only so much he could do in the middle of the elevator.
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 22nd, 2007 06:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
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xaddis0nx on January 24th, 2007 06:24 am (UTC)
Addison continued her minstrations on Derek, looking up at him momentarily as he disappeared and reappeared from her mouth. She reached up to run her hand across the bare skin at his side while the fingers of her other hand traced light patterns on the outside of his thighs. The feeling of him gradually hardening again in her mouth aroused her further, but she was determined to forget about her desires because tonight was about Derek.

The night before had been about her, maybe even the both of them. It'd been about Derek reclaiming every part of her body and her giving herself fully to him. Tonight was an extension of that. Addison was his and she was promising to be loyal and faithful to him and only him. After tonight, there couldn't be any more doubts because she knew that after tonight, there would be a lot more pain to come. Their foundation had to be put down again.

Feeling that Derek was hardening further, Addison increased her pace, bringing her hand to his and caressing it softly. Her tongue ran along his shaft, making sure to swirl over the head every so often. She kept her eyes up at him, hoping that he would see and realize just how much she was still in love with him and that that would be enough when they were faced with challenges again.
dr_shep on January 24th, 2007 06:41 am (UTC)
Derek's eyes would drift shut from the pleasure everytime Addison's tongue would make a quick swirl over the tip. By the time he would be able to actually open his eyes, she'd be doing that same technique again. It was a complete assault on his senses in the absolute best way. It was hard to believe that Addison didn't do this often; she was so damn good at it.

He met her eyes seeing the desire and love in them and made a silent promise to make sure he repaid her for this. Right now, he couldn't think of anything more than what she was doing to him.

As he hardened fully and his pleasure increased, it took all of his strength to stay propped up on his elbows. This wasn't supposed to be a faceless sexual act. This was about reconnecting and dropping his head back against the pillow and closing his eyes would turn it into the former.

Shifting himself to one elbow, Derek continued to watch her. He took his now free hand and encircled his fingers around the wrist of her hand that was running along her side and guided her hand between his thighs, showing her what he needed most.
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 24th, 2007 08:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 24th, 2007 02:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - dr_shep on January 26th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 26th, 2007 08:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 26th, 2007 08:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
xaddis0nx on January 26th, 2007 09:07 am (UTC)
Addison tilted her head to look up at him, her eyebrows furrowing as she studied his face, wondering if he was serious. She didn't know what to say. They had agreed to take this thing slow so they wouldn't fall back into old habits. It was a good plan. It gave them the much needed balance between love and space.

Now, she wasn't so sure it was everything that they needed anymore. Their time together and the way they'd connected was beyond amazing. There wasn't a reason to believe that they would fall apart again. Derek was fighting and so was she. All she wanted was to spend every waking moment with Derek. This seemed to be the perfect opportunity to do that.

They were back to being the perfect Addiosn and Derek in New York. This wasn't going to be Derek being absent or indifferent. This was them, the way they were supposed to be.

Her fears of the past still made her reluctant, but she knew she should put her faith in them because they could make it. They had to. Failing was not an option. It never was for surgeons. They'd come close to failing before and this time they couldn't do it again.

"Are you completely sure about this, Derek," she asked quietly, needing the reassurance.
dr_shep on January 26th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
That was a better reaction than Derek had been fearing. He knew Addison could be quite stubborn when it came to.... anything. And if she really wanted to keep up with this dating thing, there would be no changing her mind. But she didn't seem dead set against it. She just needed reassurance.

"I am," Derek nodded, giving her a reassuring smile, "We'll figure out a way to deal with the pain while we're together and married. I don't know how, but I do know that I can't stand to do this without you. I want you in my arms."

"And if we keep this dating thing up, I'm still going to sleep with you every night. I'll do everything within my power to make sure I go to bed with you in my arms. I need you."

He paused. He knew he was rambling, but he had a lot to say. He needed to convince her. Derek took a moment to look at her and try to read her eyes before continuing, "And if you still hate the trailer, we'll fix that. We can move. We can figure out what to do with the land. I just want you to come home.
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 27th, 2007 12:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 28th, 2007 12:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 28th, 2007 04:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 28th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 28th, 2007 07:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 28th, 2007 07:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 28th, 2007 09:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 28th, 2007 09:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 28th, 2007 04:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 28th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 28th, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 28th, 2007 07:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 28th, 2007 08:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on January 28th, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on January 28th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)