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10 December 2006 @ 06:35 pm
Emerald City Bar  
The bell above the door rang as Addison quickly entered, trying to get out of the rain. She quickly scanned the bar for the one person she came there for.

She wasn't even sure why she was doing this. Well, she did know. She was doing this for Derek, but really, she shouldn't be. Right? Addison wasn't his wife anymore (at least she wouldn't be his wife anymore a couple days from now when they go to meet with the lawyer). She didn't have any claim to him. She didn't have any responsibility towards him, and yet here she was.

Addison loved him still and she would go through hell and back for him (she kind of already had). She hoped that deep down somewhere, he was still her Derek and that they could possibly work their way to being friends again. When their marriage fell apart, Addison had lost her best friend and her husband. Now, she only wanted to be able to hold onto one of them.

Her eyes finally fell on Derek who was sitting at the counter, nursing another glass of alcohol. She frowned as she went over to his side. "Derek?" she said softly, feeling all the eyes from people who work at the hospital on them. Derek just had to pick the one bar everyone from the hospital went to.
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 06:33 am (UTC)
Addison watched him as he struggled to fish his keys out of his pocket. She frowned, desperately wanting to get out of there soon before she allowed herself to give in to him. She knew very well that being with him anymore could cause her to do something she didn't want, or atleast didn't want to go back to. Addison didn't want to risk putting her heart out there for Derek to stomp on it once again.

Sighing, she took a step towards him. "Here, let me," she said, pulling his hand out of his pocket and replacing it with hers. After several seconds, Addison successfully pulled out his keys and opened the trailer door.
dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 06:39 am (UTC)
Derek grinned when Addison stuck her hand in his pocket because he was a guy after all and bound to at least momentarily enjoy her hand in that area. He knew better than to mention it (if looks could kill he was pretty sure he'd be dead), so he allowed her to retrieve the keys and open the door.

Having forgotten the necessary step up to make it into the trailer, Derek's foot caught on the edge of the floor, and he tripped forward barely catching himself on the couch across from the door.
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
The smart Addison would have left his keys on the counter and turned around to go back to her hotel room, but the smart Addison wasn't shining through. Instead, she let the habits and feelings she'd had for the last third of her life to take over herself.

She stepped into the trailer and started a pot of coffee so he could ward off the inevitable hangover later. Walking over to him, she made sure he was situated on the couch. She watched him for a moment, realizing that this may be the last time she'd ever see him this way.

"You uh...Are you going to be okay?" she asked softly.
dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 07:03 am (UTC)
Derek looked up at Addison from where he was now laying on the couch. He would probably be okay. He'd gotten drunk and had to care for himself more than once before Addison had come into his life but since then? Unless she, too, had been drinking, Addison had been taking care of Derek for the last 12 years. And, as confusing as it all was, he would rather her be there, taking care of him, than not.

Running a hand to his head, which was certainly going to only increase in pain as time went in, he shrugged, "Will you take care of me, Addie?"
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
She swallowed hard, afraid of what was to come for the two of them. She didn't trust herself enough to let herself stay with him, but she couldn't escape the feelings of marriage either. This was what always happened when Derek got extremely drunk. She would take care of him, make sure he was okay in the morning, call in and tell the chief of surgery he'd be late or not come in at all. All of those feelings of responsibility didn't go away overnight.

Deciding to fight it one more time, Addison asked, "Are you sure...you want me to be here?"

Addison knew she should have just turned around and ran away. Derek was drunk and he didn't know half of the things he was saying. She knew that when he was completely sober, everything would go back to the way they were before, and she would end up even more hurt if she let herself fall back into being...whatever they had become. Still, she stood there, putting herself out there and letting him decide what came next.
dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 07:46 am (UTC)
The fact that Addison wasn't already running for the door gave Derek some miniscule amount of hope. Maybe he hadn't disappointed her to the point of no return (of course he was also drunk and probably very bad at reading her), but, regardless, she wasn't running for the door. And he wasn't going to turn down Addison caring for him.

"Please, Addie?"
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 08:08 am (UTC)
Addison sighed and glanced at the door. It would have been so easy to just walk out that door and never look back, never to leave it to Derek to hurt her again. Yet she stayed and agreed to take care of him because she was still his wife, and even after the divorce papers were signed, she knew that she'd always see herself as Derek's wife.

She didn't say anything as she made her way over to the coffee pot and poured some coffee into a styrofoam cup for Derek. "Here," she said, holding it out in front of him.
dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 08:15 am (UTC)
Derek slowly sat up, trying not to upset the delicate balance between his head and stomach. He took the cup in two hands, wrinkling his nose as he brought it to his lips (scotch had tasted much better). After taking a small sip he looked around, resting the cup against his knee.

"Can I have an aspirin?" He wondered, dropping his head back against the couch.
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 08:38 am (UTC)
"Yeah," Addison said softly with a nod before making her way over to the small medicine cabinet of the trailer. She sifted through the bottles of medicine and finally found the one she was looking for. Taking it, she grabbed two pills from inside the bottle and put everything back in its place.

Looking in the mirror, she didn't recognize the woman staring back at her. It wasn't the smart Addison who would have ran out the door any chance she had, she wasn't the total bitch every one, she wasn't exactly Derek's wife either. Addison was stuck somewhere in between, and assuredly, that was far from being a good thing.

She went back into what could be called the living room of the trailer and placed the aspirin in his hand. It was tempting to say something else, something a little more affection than was needed at this point, but she bit back her tongue.
dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 08:45 am (UTC)
Derek placed the pills on his tongue and took another sip of the coffee to rinse them down. He took a moment to assure that his stomach wasn't going to reject the pills and took another sip of the coffee, wishing it would start taking a stronger effect.

As his eyes drifted from the brown liquid in the styrofoam cup upward, he saw Addison and realized that she was still standing. Grateful that he was sober enough to push aside the inappropriate sexual comment that threatened on the tip of his tongue, Derek gave her a weak smile. He knew it took a certain kind of woman to still be here, taking care of her husband just days before their divorce, and that was something he would always respect in Addison.

"You can sit." He told her simply.
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 09:14 am (UTC)
Addison was slightly startled when he spoke. She had been a little lost in her thoughts (since there were so many of them), thoughts of divorce of the past, just everything having to do with Derek in general.

"Thanks," she said quietly, looking around the room for a suitable place to sit. She settled on one of the chairs situated at the dining table and sat down.

Nothing had ever been awkward between the two of them. They'd always had something connecting them and everything always felt natural. Now, on the other hand, everything was far from being natural. They were getting a divorce and what they had deemed natural would be no more. She had known that being there, helping Derek in his time of need would hurt. She just didn't imagine it'd hurt this much, or be this confusing.
dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
Addison moving further away hadn't really been what Derek had planned when he had suggested she take a seat, but he'd take what he could get. He lifted the coffee to his lips again, finally adapting to the taste and feeling remotely better from its affects.

He glanced over to Addison and would have given anything to know what she was thinking, but he couldn't even beging to figure it out. It seemed like all he could get from her were mixed signals, and it wasn't like earlier when one glance from her had said so much.

Needing to hear her talk, for comfort, Derek softly said, "I never meant to disappoint you, Addie."
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)
"I know, Derek," came Addison's response as she shifted her gaze from the floor to him again. She smiled softly, almost sadly, as she recalled the words she'd told Meredith earlier in the day. "It's one of the reason's why I fell in love with you."

One of the reasons, indeed. Derek was the safe choice because she knew he wouldn't hurt her, not on purpose. Derek was amazing when he wanted to be, and as time passed, that brightness faded and in its place was only darkness and probably hatred for her.

Now, things continued to be that way and they drift apart more and more with each passing day. In his drunkenness, Derek may want Addison for whatever reason, but she knew that that would go away once his mind was unclouded. She needed to make sure she remembered that because she really couldn't go through the ups and downs of Derek's love again.
dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 04:21 pm (UTC)
Derek nodded, finding it slightly strange to hear the word 'love' coming from Addison's lips not in the context of blaming Derek for his feelings about Meredith Grey. That was okay with him. Hearing it was comforting, past-tense or not.

He was still certain he didn't really love Addison (not in the way he had 12 years ago, at least), but he didn't recoil at the thought. That was probably the strangest thing of all because ever since she'd arrived in Seattle recoiling had been the only response he could muster to her mentioning anything about their love.

His eyes met with hers and he smiled but didn't say anything. He was, at least, sober enough not to say anything too stupid and irreversible.
xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
At the sight of his smile, Addison immediately looked away. She knew that being in the trailer with him while he was smiling (god, that smile) and drunk, wasn't going to do her, or them, any good. She had always had a thing for his smile; the way his lips curled, the way his eyes gave off all of his joy. This smile wasn't the bright smile he once always gave her, but it was a smile, Derek's smile, and she couldn't risk it.

She pursed her lips together, wondering if this was the time to make her exit. Derek seemed to be a lot more stable than when she had found him in the bar. Looking up at him, he was still being quiet and smiling. She didn't know what else to say or do.

"Is there anything else you need? If not, I should probably be on my way," she said softly with a nod.
(no subject) - dr_shep on December 12th, 2006 07:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xaddis0nx on December 12th, 2006 11:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - dr_shep on December 13th, 2006 01:01 am (UTC) (Expand)